Day 9: NO!

So I'm about to go and drive 18 hours (plus bathroom breaks and gas stops) to be a bride's maid in my friends Missy and Shaun's wedding. I thought before I disappeared for 4 days I'd do another blog post... Now, however, I am sorely regretting it.
Because Day 9 is: Short term goals for this month.

Seriously, pick the one thing that is nearly impossible for me. Goals for the day I can do, goals for the week are iffy at best, but goals for the month, NO!

*Ahem* But I'll try. Since it's the end of September I'll think about October.
Thinking.....
.......Thinking
Okay, so October is the month my birthday is in..... ummmmmmm....

Got it! I'm going to exercise at least 4 days a week. Go through my closet and get rid of what I don't wear, and get a job! A JOB I SAY! Really I think I might break down and look for a job on craigslist. *sadface*

Day 8: Who's your daddy?!

So Day 8 tells me to: Post a picture of some one or something that has had a great impact on you.

No pressure. It's not like when something asks you for a best friend in a public forum or anything.
There are so many ways I could answer this that would make so many people angry.
Yay me!

Hmmmm.... Well I'm actually stupidly impressionable so I'm going to pull a Marianna Annadanna and post a bunch of stuff.


Starting with My Mom and Dad. Because you can't be raised by some one without them impacting you massively. For better or worse I am a amalgam of these two people's quirks, strengths and weaknesses, along with some of my own I invented along the way.




My College Buddies Norie Minegishi and Laura Louda. Oh my gosh I miss you guys almost every single day!


The Chika's I spent the week with in San Antonio. From left to right Brianna Swaim (who I've known since middle school, actually I credit her for my survival in middle school) Pingping, Me, XingYi, and Kamry Murell. Best people to ever spend a weekend alone in a stranger's house with! Gah! I love you guys!


I just love this picture. Brianna and Norie with Thea (Brianna's roommate) and me.


Jesus, Yeshua, Christ... whatever you want to call him. God's son and I'm stickin' to it.



Notice that these aren't in order. I haven't gotten to the stage of life where I'm super organized from the get go.
So, when I was a little kid these were the things that molded my personality and interests the most.

Sailor Moon! No joke I can totally still sing the theme song. I have a few Sailor Moon DVD's that I watch when I get depressed, anyways so my dad sat down one day and watched a little bit with me and in the middle of the episode turns to me and says: "They act like you! No really, all these characters act like you! Especially that Ray girl."
Thanks dad... (-_-)



Dragon Ball Z, I seriously watched this show when I was 7. And boy did I idolize Picccolo (he's the green guy) and future Trunks (the dude with the sword). I have very vivid memories of watching the Freeza saga with my sister and having my first gender crisis. We couldn't for the life of us tell who was a girl and who was a guy till they spoke and even then it was kinda shady.



Here it is. The computer program that made me a nerd for the rest of my life. Thanks to this little baby I decided that I was going to learn every language in the world when I was 7. Yes, the entire world. It also instilled in me a love for culture, especially asian culture for some weird reason. And actually it was Ecarta 94 or 95 but I couldn't find a picture of it online. This one's close enough.

Once Upon a Time.... but when dammit?!

This week Angela at Begging the Answer had a thought about Fairy Tales and invited the rest of the cheese filled bloggers to share our thoughts. Here are mine:

As a little girl I loved fairy tales. Not really because of the stories but the pictures. I would pour over these gaily colored books for hours memorizing the colors, the shapes, and all the fantastic mythical creatures that lay upon the page. My favorite was the dragon, every time I saw him I couldn't help but get excited.

The first story that I remember really touching me was the story of Puss and Boots. I got the story book for some holiday, I want to stay Christmas but I was like 4 or 5 so I can't really be certain, my grandparents got it for me and my little sister, along with the one about the three billy goats and the troll under the bridge.
I would read Puss and Boots and hit the buttons at all the right times to hear the sounds. I absolutely loved it to the point where I could almost recite it word for word. All the deception in that story never really sunk in till I was older.

So there's a Miller and he dies. He splits up his possessions like this: The oldest gets the mill, the second get the mule, and the youngest gets the cat. The youngest son is a whiner and pretty much says "I'm going to eat this cat and then die of starvation with nothing but a cat hand warmer." Maybe because he has been (probably) ordered around by so many people in his life when the cat suddenly tells him what to do instead of eat him the Miller's son listens.

The cat tells the young man to get him a pair of boots made for him and a sack then heads out to make his master a fortune.

Not too bad at this point. And who doesn't love a cat walking around in a pair of tall boots wearing a cap with a jaunty feather in it (yes jaunty). The cat catches two young rabbits and walks (forever) to the castle of the king and gives them to the king as a present from his master the.... wait for it.... Marquise of Carabas.
LIES!
*Ahem* The king is impressed, not with the rabbits but with the talking cat. I think my version of the story had the king ask Puss in Boots if his master was a wizard (Here I got to hit the magic wand button and hear magical tinkly sounds) and the cat answers 'Yes'. So the cat continues to bring the King wild game for a few months, and the king is like every other man I know: "MEAT! It's time to grill baby." lol *ahem* Actually I think the wording is: "This pleased the King greatly." But we all know he was thinking the first thought.

The cat goes back to his master, the Miller's youngest son, after he's got the king's routine down and goes and tells him to bathe in a specific part of the river. The cat knows the king is going to ride by there and has a dastardly plan.

The Miller's youngest son listens to the cat, again. And goes skinny dipping.
The story points out that the princess is in the carriage and that she's super beautiful, so when the Miller's son (aka: The Marquis of Carabas) gets hauled naked out of the river because the cat is like "Help help, my master is drowning! Thieves have thrown him in the river and taken all his belongings!" I couldn't help but giggle... I still giggle. Because at that moment I'm sure the sheltered little princess got quite the eye full and it's no wonder she started crushing on him. (OMG! I've seen a man neked! Now I HAVE to marry him!)

Here is where it get's really crazy. The Cat runs ahead of the carriage and starts telling all the workers in the fields to say that they belong to the 'Marquis of Carabas' should the king ask them. Apparently the cat has been stalking more than just the king because he knows that all these lands belong to a shape shifting ogre who has a castle down the way.
What I don't get is why the workers listen to the cat. I swear Puss has to be a Jedi or something. Either that or it was like one of those middle school pranks we're all very painfully aware of: "tee hee, this is going to be hilarious, snicker snicker, shhhhhh!"
Whatever the reason the king is like "wow is all this really yours?!"
And the Miller's son lies to his face! "Yup." (Stretches so as to coolly put his arm around the blushing princess who's JUST SEEN HIM NEKED. "Indeed it these fields never fail to have a good harvest." Winning jock smile. Key the 'nabisco ding' sound effect and the shiny tooth gleam.)

While the "Marquis" is lying to his sovereign's face the cat is off antagonizing an ogre. Daring it to shape shift into things. Telling the ogre he doesn't believe that he can do it. (Chicken! bock bock bugock!) And you know what, it works. The Ogre turns into a mouse and the cat eats him!
So now all these lies have suddenly become true!
The Miller get's the girl, a castle, and the riches of the ogre all because he listened to a cat, got off his buns to do stuff, wasn't afraid of a little streaking, and had the ability to lie to others faces.
The cat did all this just so that he wouldn't get eaten.

The moral of the story? IF some one wants to eat you use all your cunning to survive.
If a girl sees you naked she will probably fall, the story literally says, violently in love with you.
But ultimately, don't take dares from cats. Because dude you're gonna die.

Day 7: Free time? PSHAW!

Hi! The next two weekends might kill me so... Thank you Everyone for your lovely comments. They made my life a better place. Especially Dazee, you so rock my socks!

Alright, so Day 7 of the 30 day challenge is: A Hobby you have.

I would say Gundam building. I really like model kits, but we have no space so I haven't built any in a while.

BTW this is a Gundam: It's called "Heavy Arms" and I LOVE IT!


But yeah this is what I used to to when I had free time.
I want to get into Sewing, but I don't quite have the monies for the industrial sewing machine I want. Oh yes, that badboy has to sew through leather.

Dear 13 Year Old Ashes...

I wrote this after being inspired by Cheesy Bloggers: because I can create entire mythical civilizations, anatomy, and alien worlds but can't write an original blog post.

Anyways, here goes!



To Ash, the Home schooler in Burkbernett who is afraid that the bars on her windows are going to be the death of her when the house caches fire.

Hey Ash,
It's you from the future. Don't believe me? All your Sonic Comics are in the drawer thing Grandpaw made you. Chance broke the super awesome rock perfume thing Cyme gave you and you just recently got a red letter from said Cousin that made you feel really happy and slightly awkward.
I have good news, I have bad news, and I have boring news.
The boring part is that I can't give you any advice in great detail. You know the Space Time Continuum and all that. I know, Lame. Can't be helped.
The bad part is that I have a few warnings. The Good part is you get some great first had advice!

Lets start off with the warnings, get the depressing part over with. You have a lot of hell yet to walk through. Most of it is hell that you are neither ready for nor is it of your making. If mom has yet to have that 4th kid take the time to go to your room and be happy knowing that Chance has grown out of the 'brake your stuff' phase.
The dark feelings won't go away. Keep up hope though, I'm writing to you so we obviously make it through them, and with most our sanity too!

Keep writing your stories. They're actually very good and if you don't finish them some one else publishes a similar idea which is totally lame.
You will find that forever friend you want so badly, so hang in there. There's no need to talk yourself up; they'll love you just the way you are. Yup, 'they'.
Pokemon may have ruined your name, but you get a way cooler much more fitting nick name later. For now just remember that Ash is also the chainsaw wielding, undead butt kicking, hero from Evil Dead.
You. Are. Not. Gay. The people trying to make you think that just want you to be as miserable and confused as they are! It's not a big deal that you don't really think any of those actors are hot nor any of those other dudes they keep squealing about. It's alright to hang with the guys, I promise.
Do what you love, play with Chance more often , and DON'T give up on things. I know this is a skill you've had to perfect in order to survive, but you'll hate that habit most.
When the Orthodontist says he's just 'polishing your teeth' he's a lying tart. That man will file your fangs into nothingness if you don't say "No thanks". Yeah, it sucks.

Enjoy the crap out of falling in love. Don't listen to all the people who are freaking out over it. They don't really know what they're talking about. Some of them are really important people to you and very very convincing. I reiterate: don't listen to them, it's a trap. Think of this time like a less obvious adventure, like a slightly less exciting version of The Princess Bride ('cept your way cooler than Buttercup). It's a good thing, I promise. Oh heck do I promise!

Finally, forget what mom says. She's just angry at something else; honestly you'll understand it when you're older and most the damage is already done.Sshe's just an angry person at this point in her life so don't take any of her yelled or muttered comments personally. You are not useless. You are awesome! You're wanted, needed, loved. You are worth far more than you give yourself credit for. When you hit your 20's you'll start to actually see it. You impact people that you never meant to and help a few get back on their feet. So look in the mirror and see how beautiful you really are and ignore all the doubt and fear that tries to convince you otherwise.
As much as you fight it, you are related by blood to the craziest group of women known to man and you will share some of their problems. Great thing is that we know this so we're able to fight off the worst of it. We are cool like that.

Let people look at you weird, dance, sing, laugh out loud, and remember to write down all the good parts of life too, so we don't forget them.

If you get nothing else out of this letter Ash just remember this: You are good enough. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise is either wrong or issuing a challenge... either way beat them at their own game.
With all my love and a big hug, The Future You who has a great life.

Day 6: A Picture Again?! And a little jingle

Helloes! On a Nerd note I'm absolutely DYING for Final Fantasy XII: Versus to finally make it's release. I've literally been waiting for it for the last 3 years! And I just found out that Square Enix is finally giving it %100 for production. It still won't be out until 2013, but that's ok because if I put aside $5 a month till it comes out I'll have more than enough money to freaking Pre-order the crap out of it!

Today is day 6 of my 30 day (cut my eyes out with a spoon) challenge: A picture of somewhere you've been.

Though tempted to post a picture of my bathroom I decided to give you guys a little eye candy.

This is the shrine in Towada Japan, it's near Towada lake which is a huge volcanic crater that filled with the coldest most delicious water ever. I've never been there in the winter, but this was the best picture the internet would give me (like I've said before I borrow internet and computer away from my apartment). The caretakers of the shrine have a cute little welch corgie, which made my sister really happy. Good Gracious I miss all the festivals! Towada's summer festival is where I got my first taste of Heaven Black Sesame ice cream. *sooo goooooood*



And here is the video I said I'd post for Dazee's song. I look totally awesome mid-blink. Haaa~ (-_-)"

Dazee's song from Angharad on Vimeo.

Tomorrow I'm going to do a Cheesy Challenge instead of a 30 day one. It'll be a nice break from freaking out when asked to post a picture of something.

Day 5: These people really like the number 15...

Hi!
I'm still doing this 30 day challenge thing. Now that I'm on day 5 I understand the challenging part of it: Finishing the Dern Thing! I don't think I can keep doing this. *over dramatic faint*

Today is Day 05- List 15 songs that represent your life’s soundtrack.

HA! Is this the 'day to day' sound track or the 'up till now' sound track. Because I have a great song for my middle school years and all the crap that is dealing with other 13 year old girls who are trying to reconcile who they are, who they want to be, and who their mom's are trying to forcibly mold them to be beside who society says they should be. (^_^) hehe

And what is it with the person who made this and the number 15?! Is that this guy's favorite number or something. What about 10 or 7? Those are nice numbers. Although I should be glad s/he wasn't a total nut and made everything the number 30... I'd be screwed.

I guess I'll make a"general" sound track. The daily sound track would be really confusing depending on the day. And the entire life soundtrack would be too long.

The Life of Ashes: the sound track! Comming soon to Virgin Records.

1. A Pumpkin is Born!
2. Yay I did it!
3. The moment's when the World Explodes.
4. Dating
5. Death
6. Germany
7. Japan
8. And more Japan (and we thought NSync was bad)
9. Reverse culture shock
10. ARGH! ARGH I SAY!
11. Fun! So much Nerdness!
12. 5 more minutes... zzzzzzz
13. I don't feel so hot.
14. Hahahahahahahaha!
15. I did not just do/say that... *sigh*

You don't have to watch or listen to any of them. But here they are!

Ha! I sang the song and recorded the video and got it online... but wouldn't you know my NOT youtube account needs several hours to process because I'm poor and can't afford to be a 'plus' member. And I have to get back home to Kq!b' (Kyaba, the puppy who is probably doing the potty dance right now. *exasperated sigh*

Day 3: Picture? Crap!

Okay so I'm on borrowed... everything. So I'm going to see if Google can bring up a picture for me. Since today is:

Day 3: A Picture of something you can't live without.

If I have to type the above again I'm going to just scrap this post and move onto the next one. Because I'm really primed for ranting about people and stupid and what happens when they can't seem to let go of one another.

*Ahem* So Maybe Google can help me find a picture.

Blood. Can't live without the stuff.

Maybe they didn't mean for me to take it so literally. I was going to find a picture of bacteria but decided that was a little strange. hehehe.

Besides, it goes with my mood today. Oh these days that make the other days seem so much nicer in comparison; how a loathe yet understand the need for your existence.

Well... until the next time I have internet,

When life gives you Lemons, make grape juice.

I did not just do that...

Alright, so I really just want to rant about something going on in my immediate family. But I won't because today I get to rant about something else.

Day 4: A Habit You Wish You Didn't Have.

I wish I didn't have the habit of neurosis. I freak out over every little speed bump that happens in my life. It doesn't matter if YOU can see the sudden pandemonium that shoots through me like a shot of adrenaline, I'm very aware of every screaming siren of "OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT!!!!" wailing just behind my eyes.

This is a habit right? Not just some mental disorder?
Well if this is just a mental disorder and I need to seek help I guess my most hated habit would be PROCRASTINATION.
I'll do it after whatever it is I'm pretending to do, in some random number of minutes, tomorrow, next week... ect.
Then the day before whatever the heck I put off is supposed to be done I run around like a chicken with my right wing, left leg, and one eye ball missing trying to fix it! Or come up with clever excuses that include Brownies (the magical creatures not the tasty chocolaty goodness), unplanned naps, and other events becoming much more time consuming than is completely true.
Whatever the case I might actually be the person I want so desperately to be if I could actually DO STUFF instead of reading that fanfiction for several hours. *guilty grin*


PS: I told Dazee that I'd upload me singing her song in my next post. This has sadly become a lie, since 'honest to God' my camera was dead. Then when I found batteries that actually worked I lost the lyrics, tried to sing it anyways, remembered most of it but forgot the end, and then felt like a total tard when I realized the dog was very concerned for me. So, amendment, I will post a video of me singing Dazee's awesome song, much to my chagrin and other's amusement, when I remember to. (note: No Brownies, elves, gnomes, or faeries= not an excuse)

Day 2: What do you mean?!

Woooo! 2 in a row!
Now let's see if I can get this done before I have to run back to my Apartment to make dinner.

The second day of the 30 day challenge blog thing is:

What is the meaning of your blog?

In truth I started this blog with the intentions of it being mostly pictures and 'Vlogs' of my life so that my family could feel connected to me. You see I am THE WORST PENPAL EVER! And losing your first kid to marriage is a pretty hard deal when said child just doesn't think of calling or writing on a regular basis.

Funny thing is, I don't think my family even reads my blog. I know they lost the link to it and I had to resend it to them. Honestly they may have only seen it once or twice. I don't know.

The great thing is this blog has lead me to meet some really cool people: Dazee, Mama Fargo, the Opto-mom, Marrianna Annadanna, Rachel, and Chicken! Not only that but I get to keep in contact with my friend in Japan, Norie and all her wonderfully deep thoughts about reverse culture shock and readjusting to one's home country or just what her job was like that day.

Now I really don't think my blog has much of a meaning other than just a glorified diary right now. But that's fine, maybe it's something some one somewhere can read and have a laugh. Laughter is required for any semblance of sanity. Or maybe something that I write will make some one feel better about themselves ("Oh thank God I don't write like that 2 dimensional nerd"). If it can serve a purpose at all I'll be happy.

The 30 day blogger challenge? Sure!

I've seen these on Facebook, 30 days of pictures, notes, statuses and what have you. I enjoy reading other people's stuff and wondering who the heck had the time to think of this list?! But I rarely ever join.
You see, I'm an observer. You know that creepy person in the corner who just watches everything? That's me! I'm deciding wether or not to join the shenanagans or figuring out the food chain and wether or not I want to try and break it. lol

Well, since Marianna Annadanna over at Snappy Surprise was nice enough to ask people to join her (at least when we felt like it or whatever) I'm actually going to try.
Like my comerade in blogs This 30 day blog challenge will probably turn out to be something in the neighborhood of 60-90 days. And depending on what internets I can get my hands on is wether or not I get to post pictures.
Day 01- Introduction, a recent photo, and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

Okay... My name is Ashes, sorta, if you've known me in the past 9 years then I'm Rem or Redd, if you met me before I moved overseas you probably use the name I never identified with and therefore stopped useing.
I like to be an open book, but my pages are out of order so... yeah.
Recent picture huh? Lets see if I can't jerry rig the interwebs.

HA! Take that "this operation is not allowed based on current security settings" !!! Widows were made to be broken... 'ahem' Anyway I'm the one on the far left smiling like an idiot. The guy next to me is a new friend I just made, trouble... er Chris, and the guy next to him is Rudi, the main guitarist for my favorite band Within Temptation.. Far left is one of my best friends, Sonya. That picture was actually taken this past Monday.

Alright, on to the 15 'interesting' facts:

1. When I'm nervous I keep talking, because eventually I hope I'll sound as intellegent as I do in my head.
2. The above never works.
3. In my head I am rather intellegent, genious even!
4. I don't like water being on my person. In me, fine. On me, NO!
5. I'm afraid of the ocean, not only is it a huge bottomless body of water *shivers* but there are SHARKS in it!6. If I could be anything else I would be a dragon. Because no one would bother me knowing that in my eyes they are crunchy and good with ketchup.
7. The world we live in bores me. No really, all this high tech stuff, social networking, video game systems, corperations, I don't care there's no adventure in it.
8. I am however a huge final fantasy fangirl, though I've only ever actually completely finished one final fantasy game: crisis core.
9. Now that I'm at number Nine 15 seems like a rideculous ammount of facts about oneself.
10. I wish more people used the term 'one' or 'oneself' instead of 'you' or 'I' when talking about hypotetical instances. I also really like terms like betwixt (between) mahaps (maybe) and mislike (don't like).
11. One day, when I grow up, I'm going to have a garden where everything is pretty AND edible.
12. I can't keep houseplants alive. I've killed a sunflower, a cactus (no I didn't over water it, I followed the directions to the letter, thank you very much), and countless other 'easy to care for' plants.
13. I was a virgin when I got married. No joke, and holy crap was that night traumatizing.
14. When I was 7 I was going to learn every language in the world, be a veteranarian, a pediatrition, have hair like repunzel, AND build the first viable giant robot that could be used in place of tanks in WW3, because every 7 year old knows it's only a matter of time before there's another one of those wars.
15. I'm very glad this is over, I was seriously beginning to think that my personality is so 2 demetional that I wouldn't be able to come up with a 15th 'interesting' fact. *phew*

Well either spell check isn't working or I surprised myself by spelling everything correctly (highly unlikely, but for the sake of my fragile ego we'll just go with that. hehe). Anyways, if anyone wants to join me on this bandwagon of bloggerly fun link up your posts in my comments (if I don't already subscribe to you). I'm an observer and I'd love to see what you have to say about whatever we're doing on that particular number. Heck you'll probably be done with this thing faster than I will. (^_^)Y

See you next week, same Bat time, Same Bat channel... till then: Love many, trust few and allways paddle your own canoe!

Of Other's issues and a Dragon Lance

Of Other's Issues....

For some weird reason I am a pillar, a psuedo big sister, a real big sister, and mother hen. I do not see these things in myself nor do I honestly relate to anyone who does. Everyone else sees these things in me though, and that means that I am going to be present for all of their issues.
Now, mind you, this isn't always bad. Often times I enjoy being able to help out a friend or give comfort over the phone or tell some one they're being ridiculous.
The thing that bothers me is: I don't know where they're getting this image of me from!
"You're so deep and wise." Acutally I was just stating the obvious from an outside perspective. And really I'm not that deep... most of my thoughts come in comic book form.
My insides probably are three times as scrambled up as those who come to me for hugs and some how I'm supposed to help them get their insides in order.
Well... if there's no one else to do it, might as well be me.
Maybe I should go to school and get payed to listen to other's issues. God knows I do it enough already.

and A Dragon Lance....

So I'm reading the Dragon Lance books for the first time. Can anyone tell me why Raistlin is so freaking popular?! Missy? Anyone?!