Friday, December 23, 2011


My family is stationed in England and for my present this year they bought me and my hubby a ticket to the madness of Christmas.

Wouldn't you know it but things were a pain right off the bat. Our seats were in the very back of the plane and couldn't lean back; at all. The little tv in the seat in front of me had been assaulted by one too many fussy 4 year olds and wouldn't register half of what I tried to tell it to do. Our plan landed an hour early. They made me go into that stupid body scan thing (which makes my heart race to the point that I get dizzy by the way... stupid airport security doesn't believe me).

Hopefully the flight nonsense used up all the stress for the entire trip.
Last night we went to Norwich. They have a mall called 'Castle Mall' that's right next to a cube of a castle, which the parking garage is directly beneath. I have pictures of all the crazy names they give their shops that made me giggle incessantly.
I had a Boost bar milk shake, my sister got a Ferraro rochette (rochere? those chocolate balls with the hazelnut inside) milk shake, and they tasted like awesome! But they were really thin in comparison to what I'm used to. Kind of like chocolate milk with sprinkles.

We've played a ton of games. Turns out my sister's fiance is just as much of a gamer as Jex and I are. The first night here we were all up till nearly 4 am playing ZOMBIES!!! The next night wasn't nearly as late as we played a game called Taliman, which is kind of a board game version of D&D without the role playing that makes people uncomfortable. Last night was Carcassonne, in which Rocker duped me into giving him 16 points because I didn't know how the game worked. The Punk.

Tonight we're going to Club Uber in downtown Norwich. I've never been clubbing. Didn't pack for clubbing. Didn't find anything I could actually wear in public (for less than 50 pounds) when we went shopping for club clothes yesterday. So I have a feeling I'll be the odd man out. In any case I'm bringing the camera because I can't pass up the opportunity for crazy pictures and possible black mail.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

fitting room blues

Today I went Christmas shopping for some stocking stuffers. I'm going to print out some pages of cool stuff and have my family pick what they'd like for Present Day. I bring the stuffers because most people don't understand Present Day and get sad that I didn't give them anything on Christmas Day.

What is Present Day you ask? Present Day is the day after Christmas. Jex and I go shopping for/with one another while all the After Christmas shenannagans are going on and pick up stuff for half of what we would have got it for earlier in the year. What can I say; we're frugal.

Anyway, so the point. I like button up shirts. They're flattering on most every body type if they actually fit right. Which they NEVER do and like an idiot I still try them on every year come the holidays when they're out on all the racks look deceptively beautiful.
So here's my question: Who are they making mass produced clothes to fit?
Really, what body type/ BMI formula/ measurment combo are they going off of? Why is it that a size 5 juniors is too small for my big ass dainty butt but I can go and buy a girls 16 regular and it fits like a glove. WTF?!
I think that some one needs to tell me how to get a hold of big clothing companies so I can send them a mass printed letter.

The letter would go something like this:

Honorable CEO of [enter company name here],
I don't know if you've noticed but you're losing a lot of sales because many people can't fit into the clothes your robots sew together. If you have time I have a suggestion for button up shirts in particular. Perhaps this idea can be edited and used with a variety of your other products at a later time.
Make button up shirts that take into consideration cup size. Have S, M, and L shirts as normal but adjust for the varying chests that are trying to fit into them. Sm A would denote some one who's small and has a small chest where as Sm C would be one of those girls that despairs ever finding a shirt that will fit her figure.
I happen to own a sewing machine and know a few tricks to get stuff to fit me better, the majority of America does not follow this life style. Convienience makes money and it'd be really really convinient if I didn't have to edit everything I bought to fit my boobs.
Sincerely, Mrs. Ashes

Of course I'd look up more intellegent sounding vernacular. Probably bother Rachel over at her Chronicles to help me or something.

I was going to write about something else but now I can't remember. Probably something to do with the book store never having enough cashiers, ever. Oh wells.
Happy Christmas shopping to all and to all good deals.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Day 21... and you thought I forgot.

I'm on the home stretch of the 30 day challenge. Getting ready for England. AND feeling like crap. I haven't slept the passed couple night because my eyes have decided to go all photo sensitive on me. I live in an apartment complex that is so well lit I feel like I'm in that weird place in Norway where they have the sun shine for 24 hours in the summer. (Is that place even in Norway... or is it Alaska?) But whatever. I'm just going to pin a blanket over our window tonight or something.

So Day 21: Three Wishes

Sooo the wrong time of year for this.
Wish 1: Enough public transportation. This way it's okay to take away the licenses of all the IDIOTS, Red Necks in Huge Pickups, Punk 16 year olds not so great drivers. They can still get to work. There's an option for couples like me and Jex who are a one car household. Ha! didn't think we existed any more did ja?

Wish 2: That mornings sucked less by 50% do you know how much stuff I could get done if I could get over the hurdle that is Morning. I'd be flipping unstoppable!

Wish 3: That the FDA was actually intelligent and well funded enough to do what they were created to do.
What? You mean you're no longer keeping tabs on Genetically Modified Food?! Are you ASKING for the Apocalypse to pay us a visit? Did you know that a company in Cali makes corn that works as a sperm inhibitor?! Yay! End of the human race via Contraceptive CORN. CORN!!! That the largest crop on earth, one of the easiest plants to cross pollinate, the stuff that is in F*^%$$#%&*!!! everything. Leave the food alone. Mother Nature knows what the crap she's doing!
.... this is why I can't get into politics.... *sigh*

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I Spy~ UP!

I've jumped on a bandwagon of Awesome! Mostly because I'm a very visual person and I'd rather show a picture than talk about something.

I SPY!!! The super fun game of find, capture, and post that I play with Dazee and Christy. It's easy, simple, and totally fun. Get a camera, any camera, and take a peek at the prompt for this week. During the week snap photos that make you think of the prompt, be they crazy, psychodelically colorful, or thought provoking. When you're ready to post on Thursday snag the I Spy logo from Dazee, Christy, or me and link up with us. (I am still figuring out the link thing so you'll have to visit either of the awesome ladies mentioned above to do the linking.)
A picture is worth a thousand words; and all that. (^_^)

The prompt for this week was interesting.


I had a lot of fun trying different pictures and angles to get something that made me think of going UP or being UP and the like. But Jex and Kiyaba ended up taking the cake.

I heard my husband chanting "Up, Kiyaba, Up" turned around and witnessed our dog freaking out because she didn't want to jump onto the bench Jex was standing on. I whiped out my phone just in time to snap a picture of Kiyaba gathering enough courage to jump.

And now for my choice.

This is my hubby and Salthouse. They are THE SAME PERSON in almost every way. Look at their faces! AGH! But it works out because Salthouse's wife Druid and I are the same too. In any way that the boys are not the same they're the same as the other guy's girl and visa versa.
With our powers combined we create one whole married couple. Haha!

Next weeks Challenge is: Decorations and Your Choice.