Monday, December 20, 2010

Results and Revelations

I finally received the results for my ultrasound and Pap. Hooray for a healthy reproductive system. So now I can go on with my life ignoring random ghost pains that could be caused by any number of imaginary things. Yay! I feel better.

But on the flip side I feel worse.
Christmas. I don't like it. This whole festive time of year when everything hinges on how much you spend on or get for said people in your life is somehow supposed to translate to love.
It's one of the reasons I chinese theater over jewelry commercials (if a psychologist could see me I'd be locked up in half a heartbeat).
Some people would be correct in calling me a Grinch or a Scrooge. The only thing I find enjoyable about Christmas is the lights and the whole spending a huge meal and laughing your head off with the people you hold dear.

I want to be with the ones I love. Luckily I'll have the one I love the most. But a part of me feels lonely for the people I once had in my everyday life that have gone on. Being a million miles away didn't feel so heavy when there was a host of smiling faces near to block it from my view.
Old habits are hard to break. Emo-ness seems to be the same way. lol

However in my severe distaste for a season which has even deprived me of snow (it's 85 degrees in Texas) I would not dream of holding the joy away from the rest of you.
So Happy Christmas to you all. Have a little extra Merry for me this year.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Thoughts about Love

It's just a word. A word that has an endless depth. A depth greater than any ocean; as vast and as beautiful as the universe itself.
Over time it's meanings in American English have come to encompass any great feeling of happiness or intimacy with something. "I love my new shoes." and "I love my family." Two completely different emotions expressed in the same word.
A word as light as it is dark. One that holds not only the greatest ecstasy for the soul but also the most dire misery. Its dual nature a mystery that has drawn the human race from the beginning. We will never be tired of Love, and Love Lost in some way crushes all who hear of it.
True Love.
Since the simple word Love has come to bear so much English speakers have had to add another word to express the weight and purity of Love. A word that is a facet of God himself; Truth.
A True Love never fails, even when it is lost. A True Love encompasses and accepts all the light and dark of it's deep being. A True Love is the most important part of God. The thing that initiates Sacrifice and Loyalty, Patience and Forgiveness, an embodiment of all that is worth fighting for and through.
True Love.
What everyone yearns for, whether they know it or not.

Jex I don't know if you read this... but for the whole world to see... I Love you, I Truly Love you.

"Death cannot stop True Love, only delay it for a little while." ~Westley (man in black), The Princess Bride

Thursday, December 2, 2010

"We always practice safe ultrasounds."

So, anyone here every had a pelvic ultrasound? Then you will know that it's slightly sick and twisted.
You have to hold your bladder while it's near the breaking point while they push around on your jelly covered lower abdomen with a little device that looks like something out of 'Star Trek' right around where your bladder is. Or at least it feels like they push directly on it.
Then there's the wand. Oh yes, the magic wand of super sonic sound waves. What the ultrasound tech told me as she slid on the protective cover totally made up for me nearly peeing in my pants: "We always practice safe ultrasounds." The older woman said with a silly grin as she slid the suspiciously condom-like cover over the wand.
Totally made my day!
So I get to wait a few days for a call back from the actual Doctor to tell me if he finds anything. For now though I'm content that it's done.
Oh! And I'm getting better! Yay!

Recently I've been thinking about American culture (I'm still getting used to it, and yes there is a BIG difference between American Military Culture and just flat out American Culture. I'll have to tell you about it sometime.) and it occurred to me that it's the only individualist culture I can think of. Now it has me wondering if there are any other individualist cultures other than America. Does anyone know the answer to that?