Monday, October 31, 2011

A Weirdo is Born!

Happy Birthday to me! I survived another year and now it's time to celebrate with a chocolate overload and some good movies!

Dizzy and AssBreakerTony came up to spend the day with me and bought me a couple of t-shirts and some boots to replace the ones that I can no longer save with shoe goo. We watched the new version of 'The Thing' the other day (sooo good, and so intense!). I'm glad they came up. So is the puppy. I really do have some of the best in-laws ever. Crazy as they can be at times, they're pretty radtastic all around.
Oh and we passed like 50 sweet grass basket stands on the not-mountain-of-pleasant. It was really strange, I've never seen anything like it. Stand upon stand of baskets on both sides of the road... like some kind of wierd basket festival.

Well I was going to put a picture up... but I can't get on the website so pull it up... *Sad Face*
So I'll just share a picture I drew on halloween a few years ago, because it's late and I'll get the fun picture up tomorrow or something.

Done in prismacolor colored pencils! Please give Ashes credit for this if you steal it.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

I'm Halfway through!

So my laptop is on the fritz, I'm going to have to wait to show you my stupid... er... stupendous alligator photos and a video of my having a little bit of a panic attack while trying to get said photos.

In case you guys were wondering about that job I interviewed for, they've been put on a hiring hold till their funding can be calculated for this fiscal year (October is the begining of the new fiscal year for this base). So I might still get it. Maybe, if they can afford to hire anyone. XD!

While I'm enroute to Non-Con at the Green Dragon (my nerdtastic home away from home) I thought I'd pop in and do another day of the 30 day, melt your face off, challenge.
I'MHALFWAYTHROUGH! *happy dance*

So Day 15 is: A picture of something you ate and 10 confessions.

Not so bad this time actually. But what is this timeline for eating, cause I could find all kinds of wonky foods that I've eaten in my lifetime. I'll go with dinner last night because it should make some one giggle.

That's right all I had for dinner last night was Beer with a side of pickles and cheese.
Why you ask?

Because the day for the community oyster fry got moved to the day before and no one told me. *sad face* So by the time dinner came around I didn't have anything ready and I don't eat after 7pm if I can help it and those were the easiest things on hand. All in all though it was a pretty good dinner.

Now for 10 confessions... I don't know how this is supposed to work... bless me Father for I have Sinned???

1. I can't stand realy dramatic movies because I cringe. Not just normal cringing but the gut wrenching kind that makes you feel like you're either going to throw up or turn inside out.

2. I will not cry in front of anyone if I can help it. EVER.

3. This is harder than I thought.

4. At my Christian college I'd dress gothic ever friday that landed on a 13.

5. I'm lazy.

6. I'm also a perfectionist

7. The two above create a vicious cycle. *sad face*

8. Often times I'm envious of my sister in a very Prodigal Son kind of way.

9. I've come to accept the fact that I will forever be 'cute' and not 'bad ass'

10. I steal the little kid suckers that the bank has out on the counter. They make me happy.

Now off to spend many hours geeking it up with some nifty, and a few shady, people. Yay!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day 13 of the 30 day challenge

I'm stalling with the more interesting stuff that has happened today so that I can get the video online.
But between taking a car sick dog to the vet and rolling myself up in a Kimono in under half an hour, I had a good day.

So the 30 day challenge likes to make you do things that could possibly kill your relationships.
Day 14 is: Write a letter telling some one something that you could never tell them.
And this is where I stand back and go 'hmmmmmm'.
For the most part I live my life to the code of 'If you ask I will tell.' Why? Because it's less stressful that way.
"Do you like my hair hun?" the hubby asks. "It's too freaking short.Don't worry, you're still hot even with stupid hair." The wifey responds.
Most people have heard what I have had to say to them... and what I wouldn't say is probably close to bitching and really depressing. You've been warned.

Rant in 3...



Dear N,
This is old hat but I realize I never said this to your face as clearly as I wanted to. So here it is.
I'm not sorry. We had an understanding, I thought. I wish I could feel less hurt and betrayed but I can't. Just to let you know I have forgiven you and I still love you. But I will NEVER, EVER, I reiterate EVAAAAR let you near Jex again. There were other ways to get his attention and you knew how involved we were. For a while I really really hated you and him and me. That trust can never be completely rebuilt.

Dear Aunt,
You're a witch. Sitting and watching you for the few months I did I was so glad I didn't have to grow up with you. I remember you asking why my super awesome favorite cousin turned out the way she did... well it's pretty much you. At least I can see the soft, broken, human side of grandma. You however, I can't get passed the titanium reinforced casing to see anything. Maybe you've gotten better, maybe you'll get better, but I don't care. If I see you again I'll be cordial and civil but I will not put up with you ever again. I know the hole you wallow in is comfortable but it's damned depressing. I think you'd do better to get out of it and walk in the sunshine of life. God is GOD, if he wants to do a frelling miracle he'll do a frelling miracle! Don't spoon feed people your bull crap about him no longer taking much of an active part of our lives. DON'T tell me the horrifying crap that I experienced as a kid was just a 'night terror'; I didn't choke myself in my sleep, the thing that woke me up wasn't just 'wishful thinking' and the thing it protected me from wasn't 'a hallucenation'. And while I'm at it, LOVE YOUR MOTHER!
Does she deserve it? Not really. She's hurt me emotionally too. But damnit if I can work at loving my mother, and feel bad about trying to hash out things with her about the past because of all the progress she's made, then you can too. While I'm at it, LOVE YOUR FAMILY DAMNIT! Take the time, spend a little gas money, if money is all that tight ask for a little help. If you'd love to see and help us I'm pretty sure we'd love to see you more often. Wouldn't you like to be missed instead of dreaded?
Oh and that email I sent. Not disrespectful. I asked a question straightforward and expected an answer not for you to turn around and email my mother about what a brat I was being. If you're pissed at me tell me you're pissed at me. One day I'll forgive you, because I'll be damned if you make me as bitter as you are. I'm so glad you aren't on facebook, oh God am I glad.
*deep breath* *woo saaa* ~ You're bent neice.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It happens....

Roar... ?
Since Jex left I've kinda lost my will to do much of anything. I know most of you Veteran married peoples are going to be like 'pshaw you young newliweds and calling each other every day to say "I love you!"' He's only been gone for like 16 days! It doesn't matter I want my evil jerk back! I can't get anything done without him around to keep me on track!
But thanks to my friend the Platypus I decided that I need to give my blog more love. I may even post every other day. *Le~gasp*

I'm so excited it's almost HALLOWEEN!!! Gah! Not only do I get to dress how I wish I could dress every day, but I get candy AND presents (since it's my birthday). In less than a week I'm going to make the most chocolatiest birthday cake EVAAAR! Because if I can't have sex fun on my birthday then I'm going to have chocolate, with little cookie tombstones on top. And when I can't eat it all then Beowulf and Superdude at the Green Dragon (my favorite nerdtastic place in Sandland) will probably appreciate a piece or two.

Lets seee... I think I'm on day 13 of the 30 day challenge...
What do we have here?

Share a Secret, huh?

Oooooh that's a tough one. Most of my secrets are secret for a reason. Hell I'm the girl who when asked "what color are your underware?" by dudes looking to freak me out I pulled the band up from the back and looked at it before answering. I don't even know if I have a secret I can share without feeling all freaked out.

Hmmmmm... *strokes imaginary beard* Uh.....

Okay. I think I got one. Right before going to College I had just broken things off with Jex for a myriad of reasons. Between my Parents saying things like "I will not be a part of something I do not condone" and having communication issues with Jex on top of personality traits he picked up from being deployed to an Army base as support in the desert I just couldn't handle it. Love should not be the cause of so much suffering! DAMNIT!
So when I went to College I was like: Woooo! Fresh start!
It was then that I realized how A-sexual I really am. I just don't care about the opposite sex like I'm supposed to. In all honesty I would rather see a woman's body than I man's mostly because the curves are very artistically pleasing. That and the same woman can change shape based on the time of month or the stress she's under.
There were a few guys I thought were pretty cute, like Cowboy and Ceasar (honest to God that is what people called them) but meh. Get us together with pizza and beer and a few video games or whatever and it'd be a party, but meh.
It was then that I thought that I was forever going to be single. Jex was the only guy that really drew me in... ever. Sure I love the crap out of my guy friends. Oh I love love love them (like Marc!). But not like that. It still feels weird sometimes to admit to myself that I really don't feel feminine or masculine at any given time. I just 'am'. Ya know?
Then, LUCKY ME, Jex took the time and money (and if you knew him you would understand why both of these are monumental considerations) to fly from Japan to Okla-freakin-homa to ask for a second chance. How can anyone say 'no' to that?! Not only that but, well, to be honest even though I broke up with him I'd never really wanted to. He's my one and only, I'm pretty sure there can be no other even if he died. So let's hope he stays alive for a good long time. (^_^) Because if he dies I'm screwed.... or rather the opposite there of.

Friday, October 14, 2011


After the last few days all I can say is: HOLY FRIGGEN CRAP!
Unfortunately my wondermus husband took his camera before we had enough breathing space in which I could pull the pictures off of it. Lame-sauce I know. (and after talking with him on the phone he says he doesn't have it, it may have actually been left at my brother in law's... hmmmm)

Everyone get excited for me, I had my first job interview this passed Wednesday and I think it went pretty well. I'm so excited, I really really want to be a librarian! Yay! ... though technically it's an 'assistant librarian' position... doesn't matter I totally have the glasses for it. (^_^)Y

Alrighty, in celebration of surviving being in different states four weekends in a row I'll do a day of my 30 day challenge.

Day 12: A picture of something you don't like.

Oh the pastabilities... I don't like a lot of things. It's probably easier for me to come up with a list of stuff I don't like than stuff I do like.
But for the sake of my efforts to be more positive I'm just going to choose one.

Strategy board games.... ugh...

I don't like them because I'm bad at them. Honestly I win about 51% of the time. I just don't like them. I feel bad, or bored, or just darn drained after I play them, and since I play games to have fun these are not the games for me.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Day 10: because the internet gods are with me...

I have a head cold! *cough hack wheeze* But that's okay, theraflu is awesome so I should be in the clear in no time.... I hope.
We're still alive. Turns out we're not the only ones with wanderlust. Daddio and Witchy are driving to Texas tomorrow to help sort out all the stuff that was left when Grandma Velma died. But we're here, and in one piece, and with the internet! Yay! I forgot how good it feels to type up a blog post while chillaxing in bed.

Okay so Day 10 of the 30 day challenge is yet another deep/aneurism causing topic: A Story about a past relationship.

*sigh* I'm going to go with a happy story!

There was once a little girl named Ashes, who really wanted some one to play with. She'd look out the window wistfully and watch the leaves on the tremendously tall trees dance in the sunlight.
Soon her mother was going to take her somewhere else, somewhere she could play with kids her own age. It was hard for her to make friends because she wasn't good at showing her feelings with her face or her words. Just her actions. That made the other kids mad. Especially the boys because she could beat them up while keeping her pretty dress clean.
There was another little girl named Aubrey. Who was just as fun and rowdy as Ashes. They had seen each other a lot when they were too tiny to remember and soon they would see each other again.
They would laugh until Ashes got hiccups. Bury toys in the sand box. Spend the nights laughing and playing with all the neat toys that Aubrey's family could afford. They would play catch with a sky dancer and Aubrey would freak out Ashes with a demon possessed Furby (though Aubrie didn't think it was demon possessed). Together they would discover the wonderful terror that came from watching Jurassic Park and having a kitten on a water bed.
Overtime their relationship would grow into the first 'best friend' Ashes had ever known. If they could have predicted the future maybe they would have remained so.
But time is a fickle friend and likes to pull things apart.
Ashes moved to Texas and the girl's mother's had a 'falling out'. Even though they stopped speaking and no longer would call each other their 'best friend' the memories are still precious. The impact still there.
The laughter though long since faded still echoes to this day.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Dear God, I thank you for giving me the time to blog...

Okay so last night Jex and I got home from our trip to Massachusetts. We're poor, so I packed up all the food from our fridge and we drove over 2,000 miles and 36 hours alltogether so that we could be part of our great friend's big day. I was a bride's maid! *squeeee!*
Missy was beautiful and Shaun was dashing. They really do complete each other and I pray for their continued oneness. Even though Missy is more of a deist than I am she appreciates the sentiment. And somewhere on the internet is a video of Terrace (the maid of honor) and me doing 'the creep' by ourselves on the dance floor. Maybe even one of us head banging to the techno 'Barbra Streisand' song.
Jex and I pulled up to our Apt near 9pm last night. We get today to unpack, repack, and clean before leaving tomorrow night at around 9pm to drive 6 hours to my in-laws. Tony LOVES fright fest at 6flags. Since he's been through open heart surgery this year we're going to celebrate it with him. Then at some indeterminate time we have to drive 6 hours back in order for my husband to fly to someplace to do something for too long away from me for his work. Yay OPSEC! (opsec is the acronym for: Operational Security..... it means don't post military details where just anyone can get a hold of them. And it may make a some of my posts about Jex really vague.)

Anyhow, pictures and other such funness from the trip will have to wait. I've got 5 minutes in which to get home and get things situated.

30 day challenge Day 10: Someone or Something you're proud of.
Holy Crap.... do they do this on purpose. There isn't just one of these things in my life!
Bah, you're about to get a laundry list of photos I can steal from other people's face book pages. *evil laugh*

Marrying Jex... Probably the best decision I've ever made in my life. Ever.

I'm so proud of Norie and Laura and all the other friends that I couldn't find good pictures of

I'm proud that I can put on a Yukata (pictured below) and a Kimono on by myself. A feat that even many Japanese can't accomplish.

I'm super proud of my little brother Rocker. This is a picture of him and his band. He's the only one who looks bad ass (to the left of the kid in the front).... he's also the only American. lol

Well that's it for the next week or so. If there's anything left of me I'll be back here, same bat time, same bat channel.... same batty personality. (^_^) Y

.... I forgot one.... so I came back because this was a really big highlight in my life....

I'm proud of being able to sword fight with real steel. Yup.... it's awesome.