Must be the Hormones

Science! It's wonderful, I love it! But sometimes it takes the magic right out of life. For one thing it makes love out to be a bunch of meaningless brain chemicals that alert us to a good DNA donor for the furtherment of the species. Bleh. Where are all the unicorns and roses?! I reject this!!! *laughs*

Other times it makes the intense reactions experienced by a pregnant woman a little more livable. What I'm crying, hard and loud sobs, over misplacing a book that needs to be found by tomorrow? This isn't like me, I'm usually way more rational than this. Must be the hormones! I love cheetos but they're full of hate and and give me the worst heartburn so I'm all depressed. Must be the Hormones! Exhausted? Hormones! Cranky? Hormones! Giggly? Hormones!
It's great to have a scapegoat that actually might be the reason you're acting so ridiculously.

Till next time my lovelies,
~The light heart lives long.

Scenes from a Marriage

You get two scenes today! Lucky you; either that or Jex has just been extra silly lately.

Scene 1: In the living room. I have just eaten the last of my expensive, but totally worth it, Bubbies pickles (they don't have corn syrup in them or vinegar, they are ligit pickles). The jar mostly full of brine sits on our rad new coffee table.

Jex: Pickle juice is ok to drink right?
Me: Yeah, it's just salt and water. Maybe some spices.
Jex: So it's like Gatorade but better!
Me: Yeah I guess so.
*A few minutes later while doing the dishes I hear this joyous announcement*
Jex: It's like a tasty ocean!!!



Scene 2: On the phone with my wonderful husband.

Jex: You have the cookie stuff ready for me?
Me: Yeah, it's in the freezer ready to be baked. How many did you need?
Jex: Not many, like 6 or 8.
Me: Ok, yeah there should be enough from the last batch of cookies I made.
Jex: Also I need you to find me a tupperware that has no friends.
Me: A tupperware that has no friends?!
Jex: Yeah, like one that isn't part of a set, and you wouldn't mind losing.
[I totally laughed at him, and will shamelessly continue to chuckle all day.]

I want a scanner

Not only would it make my life easier... well it would just be a fun thing to have. So that I didn't have to take pictures of all the artwork I did for the challenge. Yeah...

Anyways here is a dose of Marriage Giggles thanks to Jex.

Jex: Have you taken your Appelopolis today?
Me: You mean acidophilous?
Jex: Yeah.
Me: No.
The acidophilous is kept in the fridge. Which my husband walks over to opens and as he's taking the chew-able allegedly strawberry flavored tablets out of the fridge he makes this adorable little baby dinosaur 'rawr' sound before announcing : "Acidopolis, made from real dinosaurs." *cute rawr*

I love this guy.

My marriage is weird....

So Jex stubs his toe on my first gen Playstation2.

Looks like this.

And comes over telling me to fix it.
With a sigh I look over to see that his pinky toe has been sliced across the top. What are the corners of the PS2 made of, blades?! After fixing him up I give him a hug. Then a kiss and another hug.

Jex: Did the blood make you horny?
Me: What? No.
Jex: You sure are lovey.
Me: *shrugs*
Jex: So it makes you horny; you're just hiding it.
Me: No!
Jex:*cups my boob* You're horny!
Me: My boobs can't tell you that I'm horny, you weirdo.
Jex: You're boobs tell me lots of things... like when you're asleep.
Me: You touch my boobs when I'm sleeping?!
Jex: Well yeah, you can't tell me to stop then.
Me: Gah! I'm done talking to you.... and I'm putting this on Scenes from a Marriage!
Jex: Ok, but put the whole thing on.

For the record I am not a vampire. My husband however is a bonafied creeper. Though vampire chicks are always super gorgeous... maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

The Light Heart Lives Long

Man, typing a post is sooooo much easier with a key board.

Quirks

When I have to type security words in order to submit comments I think: "Hey that actually sounds like a pretty cool word. Litexy Ntriad, ooooh! That can be a name for the capitol city in a fantasy book." Before I know it I'm liberally sprinkling hyphens and apostrophe's over nonsense letters pretending that, like sprinkles, they make anything look appealing and snazzy.... maybe even edible? *laughs*
And off I go to worlds known only to myself.

Off Kilter Observations

No matter how hard you try, you cannot suck in your hips.

Tay-has or Bust

You know your cappaccino doesn't have enough caffeine in it when you look in your rear view to see a Semi barrelling down on your bumper and the only thought that comes to you is: "Oooh! Optimus Prime!"

((For those of you who don't know, Semi Trucks scare me. Not just I get a little on edge when I drive around them. No. This fear is on the edge of Panic Attack Land. And since I obviously can't fight the big bellowing monster spewing black into the air and roaring as it barrels down the road in Rinky the dinky red station wagon I tend to turn into speed racer... or make pitiful noises that sound suspiciously like wimpers. ))

So, Jex and I drove the 22 hours to Texas for Thanksgiving with some of the coolest people in our lives. I can't remember if I gave them code names or not. Hmmmm.... Anynames we started driving on the first hour of Yesterday, the 22nd, and began the long trip on a mostly empty road with a cooler full of goodies and several audio books. It started out well. We listened to Harry Dresden ((It's like Harry Potter but actually awesome)) take on all mannor of creepyness (because I am a nerd like that) and took turns sleeping in the passenger seat. The dog only puked once. It was going really well.
Then the battery light lit up.
We've had an alternater in our trunk for a few weeks now. We knew our alternater was going bad. I even took the time to change our spark plugs (and holy crap did they need changing... one of them was bent people! bent!) and install a new air filter. Yet somehow it was a good idea to take the alternater and speakers out of the trunk before starting our trek of grand proportions.
At first the battery light only lit up if I went over 75. It flickered like there was a loose wire or something. Then it began lighting up if we went over 60. And then it didn't turn off.
We pulled over to get some breakfast and I lost the dash. All the lights died, the gages stopped working and there was a beeping sound I've never heard before.
The alternater died exactly halfway to our destination. EXACTLY!
We were back on the road 5 hours, 3 wrong alternaters, and 400 dollars later we were back on the road. So much for the money we got back from our move. But at least we're not in the hole. So that's nice.

We're here now. In one piece and loving on our friends. And I can't wait to get video of the lot of us getting drunk and trying to play Curses.

Happy Thanksgiving. May you're list of Thanks be longer than your list of Disappointments this year!

ever queezy

Dear Tummy,
I love you. I also happen to love the food I put in you. Please could you guys start getting along again? Because your tantrums are getting really ridiculous.
~love, Ashes

Zodiac, it's a killer

So I'm not really one to be all into the Zodiac sign thing. If anything I know a little about it just in case I'm ever asked. Now and again, when I'm bored or feeling goofy, I'd look up my horoscope or see a little book thing written about my start sign.

A part of me liked the idea of the planets alignment being a sign from a higher power as to what I should turn out like later in life. Or maybe a map of my Epic Destiny (pfft, if only). Nice thoughts that make for interesting story plots and fun day dreams.

Well today I just found out that all that Star Sign stuff got changed. Everything is now helter skelter to add a 13th sign. I wonder how many superstitious people are going to have a conniption fit over the 13th sign. Anyway good ol' lucky 13 a creepy old guy straddling a snake with a name that no one can pronounce: Ophiuchus.

First they take away Pluto's Planethood, NOW their messing with our Star Signs. I mean come on! There are cures that are needed for diseases and green energy alternatives and, I don't know hows about cleaning up our DNA because survival of the fittest doesn't apply in our society any more?! Leave the universe alone and deal with what's right in front of your noses you bored sciency people!!!!

Just in case you're curious here's the new list for Zodiac signs. It's pretty ridiculous in my opinion, not balanced at all.

Capricorn - Jan 20 to Feb 16
Aquarius - Feb 16 to Mar 11
Pisces - Mar 11 to Apr 18
Aries - Apr 18 to May 13
Taurus - May 13 to Jun 21
Gemini - Jun 21 to Jul 20
Cancer - Jul 20 to Aug 10
Leo - Aug 10 to Sep 16
Virgo - Sep 16 to Oct 30
Libra - Oct 30 to Nov 23
Scorpius - Nov 23 to Nov 29
Ophiuchus - Nov 29 to Dec 17
Sagittarius - Dec 17 to Jan 20

(HERE's the link if you want to check it out yourself)

So I looked up my new Star Sign (although I was plenty content with the scorpion, thank you very little). Libra, so I go from a scorpion to a pair of scales... and turn into a self centered sissy in place of a manipulative nympho. Huh.

*shrugs* I didn't really buy into it to begin with. But it was one of the things I didn't think would ever change and it did. So tell me what you guys think of this 21st century progress and what your Star Sign was and what it 'changed' to.