Scarecrow and the Beachdweller
4 weeks ago
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Thursday, June 30, 2011
hot knives and 0 stupid 30
Of Hot Knives...
My husband is a genius, but I swear he forgets that sometimes.
While playing with a candle he lit his knife on fire... put it out... noticed how hot it was, and with a rakish grin promptly folded it and stuck it, hot metal against his skin, in it's usual place on his waistband.
I'd like to think of myself as a good wife. In my concern for my husband's well being I ran and got a cup of cold water to cool the metal so it wouldn't burn a hole in his side.
He didn't want me to save him. But damnit I was going to. So I chased him into the bathroom where I promptly had my helping hand slammed in the door. No really he crushed the cup and the knuckles on my palm when I was intelligent enough to think I could splash him and retract my hand before doom ensued. Weird thing is, though it hurts like hell, there's not a single mark to show that love hurts... especially when it closes doors on you.
And 0 Stupid 30...
Assbreaker Tony, one of my 2 father-in-law's, just got out of heart surgery. He had to have 5 bypasses done. Yeah, I thought the max anyone could ever need was 4, shows you what I know about the cardiovascular system and procedures.
The night before we went to visit him in the hospital I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I was suffocating. Got over it after Jex so sweetly opened the windows and turned on the fan.
Assbreaker Tony is doing ok surgery wise, no complications of a life threatening nature have arisen. Unfortunately he's having a lot of pain and his blood oxygen is a little lower than the doctors want. As far as I know he's still in ICU and will be till further notice. Which is driving him insane.
Knowing he's in no real danger we got back to Podunk from Atlanta near midnight. I was so tired. So tired that my usual 30-90 minute wind down time before I got to blissful sleep was cut down to 3 or less. Yeah.
But wouldn't you know that my body hates me? It does. Because I woke up at 0 stupid 30! 4:30 AM! What the crap is that?! Nothing is on TV at 0 stupid 30, we don't have internet at the house most the time, it's too dark for me to feel comfortable walking by myself in the wooded outskirts of Podunk. I ended up taking that walk anyways all 5k of it, and I stopped to pet every dirty country dog that wagged it's tail at me, and at every black berry bramble on the way to steal some of the juicier berries from the birds.
It's not even noon yet and I've been up for 6 hours. This feels so weird.
My husband is a genius, but I swear he forgets that sometimes.
While playing with a candle he lit his knife on fire... put it out... noticed how hot it was, and with a rakish grin promptly folded it and stuck it, hot metal against his skin, in it's usual place on his waistband.
I'd like to think of myself as a good wife. In my concern for my husband's well being I ran and got a cup of cold water to cool the metal so it wouldn't burn a hole in his side.
He didn't want me to save him. But damnit I was going to. So I chased him into the bathroom where I promptly had my helping hand slammed in the door. No really he crushed the cup and the knuckles on my palm when I was intelligent enough to think I could splash him and retract my hand before doom ensued. Weird thing is, though it hurts like hell, there's not a single mark to show that love hurts... especially when it closes doors on you.
And 0 Stupid 30...
Assbreaker Tony, one of my 2 father-in-law's, just got out of heart surgery. He had to have 5 bypasses done. Yeah, I thought the max anyone could ever need was 4, shows you what I know about the cardiovascular system and procedures.
The night before we went to visit him in the hospital I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I was suffocating. Got over it after Jex so sweetly opened the windows and turned on the fan.
Assbreaker Tony is doing ok surgery wise, no complications of a life threatening nature have arisen. Unfortunately he's having a lot of pain and his blood oxygen is a little lower than the doctors want. As far as I know he's still in ICU and will be till further notice. Which is driving him insane.
Knowing he's in no real danger we got back to Podunk from Atlanta near midnight. I was so tired. So tired that my usual 30-90 minute wind down time before I got to blissful sleep was cut down to 3 or less. Yeah.
But wouldn't you know that my body hates me? It does. Because I woke up at 0 stupid 30! 4:30 AM! What the crap is that?! Nothing is on TV at 0 stupid 30, we don't have internet at the house most the time, it's too dark for me to feel comfortable walking by myself in the wooded outskirts of Podunk. I ended up taking that walk anyways all 5k of it, and I stopped to pet every dirty country dog that wagged it's tail at me, and at every black berry bramble on the way to steal some of the juicier berries from the birds.
It's not even noon yet and I've been up for 6 hours. This feels so weird.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
ever queezy
Dear Tummy,
I love you. I also happen to love the food I put in you. Please could you guys start getting along again? Because your tantrums are getting really ridiculous.
~love, Ashes
I love you. I also happen to love the food I put in you. Please could you guys start getting along again? Because your tantrums are getting really ridiculous.
~love, Ashes
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
To Eve with not so much love.
Dear Eve,
I have something to tell you. Although I'm sure you've heard it before. Honestly I really meant to be the one woman to give you a break but today and this last week have broken that resolve.
*ahem*
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Was the fruit that shiny?! What kind of a woman listens to a snake with legs over God?!
Yeah sure, the legs were normal in your time, and your cautionary tale is probably why women will never listen to a snake no matter how silver his tongue. If you were still alive we'd have words, lots and lots of words, most of them R material.
With some pity,
Your very peeved descendant.
I have something to tell you. Although I'm sure you've heard it before. Honestly I really meant to be the one woman to give you a break but today and this last week have broken that resolve.
*ahem*
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Was the fruit that shiny?! What kind of a woman listens to a snake with legs over God?!
Yeah sure, the legs were normal in your time, and your cautionary tale is probably why women will never listen to a snake no matter how silver his tongue. If you were still alive we'd have words, lots and lots of words, most of them R material.
With some pity,
Your very peeved descendant.
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