Quilty quilty... crap

Blogs are less fun to post since I don't have a camera anymore... birthday present! Birthday present! lol

I went to the 2nd ever Quilting Group Meeting at the church Jex and I found randomly. They're a good group of ladies, all of whom could be my mother. It was actually quite funny the first time I showed up they kept staring at me. I think they were wondering if I even knew what a sewing machine was. Maybe they were taking bets on how much I actually knew about quilting. hehehe. Whatever it was they got over it today. Everyone was talking about what patterns they were trying and color schemes and the best way to apply fun artsy touches.
I found out a lot of stuff that I didn't know. From the beginning I was going to wing it, now I'm still probably going to wing it. With as much as everything costs (damn you JoAnn Fabrics!) I really hope I don't suck at this. Sure I made a quilt like... oh my god.... that was 14 years ago..........
.......
well shit.
Anyways. Today I'm making a space for my quilt project and having Jex help me with the pattern since the one I want to make isn't a free pattern... and there's no way in hell I'm going to spend $15 on paper I have to do all the work on.
I'm also going to start working on a stuffed Owl doll. Both of these are going to be for my friend's babies next Christmas. I'm sure Cait will probably love them just as much if not more. In any case it'll be worth all the money I've dumped into it. And it gives me something to do while I try to figure out Job-ish things. It's hard to be a one car family. It really is sometimes.
Stupid America and it's lack of decent public transportation. STUUUUPID.

Oh and I rented Cabin in the Woods!
I'm a chicken when it comes to horror type movies. But I'm so excited! It really looks more like a scifi movie than a horror. And Jex can't complain that I'll be mooning over the dude who played Thor (what's his name google? Ah that would be Chris Hemsworth. Thank you google) because no doubt I will be squealing into his lap and clinging to him like a koala through some if not most of the movie.

The light heart lives long~

Fracking Friday!!!

I'm posting this sort of preemptively because tomorrow I'll be driving all day Friday and then hurriedly getting together with friends who are about to move to the other side of the Fracking Country and leaving me alone in the possibly God Forsaken South.
So exit now, you're going to Frackville.

I don't know about you but animals in Heat really really suck. Not kidding you, I really don't like hurting animals; even the ones that try and tear your face off or have your arm clamped between their teeth. All I wanted to do to Kq!b' was kick her while she was in heat. She was glued to my ankles, I was constantly tripping over her, she would not stop whining and yowling and licking me and trying to break through the glass panes every time she saw another dog through the window. And God WHY did you have to make it smell so bad?! Dog in Heat is honestly one of the more disgusting things I've smelled in my lifetime and I've been around dead things, backed up septic tanks, and barnyards. It was in my house.
I have a bit of a pet peeve about bad smells in my house. I swear I've used more Fabreeze and Bleach this week than I have in the entirety of my life before the dog went into heat. Ugh!!! UUUUGGGGHHHH!

Frack being a woman... today it's just not worth it. *eats more motrine*

And Frack driving for 6 hours!!!! I don't like it! Not to mention it usually coincides with the one week I'm not entirely up to driving for 6 hours. Be it that I'm getting sick, or bleeding, or have a broken foot or whatthehellever.

I also would like to take this moment to complain about dishes, not being used to having the internet at my fingertips and therefore poorly misusing my day/life, the red clay that is under my house, plumbing, the master bathroom toilet, my husband, my husbands wire brush mustache, my old broken computer, and the price of fabric!
Is that it? maybe? Well I feel a little lighter now.

Till next time, may your heart be light.

My marriage is weird....

So Jex stubs his toe on my first gen Playstation2.

Looks like this.

And comes over telling me to fix it.
With a sigh I look over to see that his pinky toe has been sliced across the top. What are the corners of the PS2 made of, blades?! After fixing him up I give him a hug. Then a kiss and another hug.

Jex: Did the blood make you horny?
Me: What? No.
Jex: You sure are lovey.
Me: *shrugs*
Jex: So it makes you horny; you're just hiding it.
Me: No!
Jex:*cups my boob* You're horny!
Me: My boobs can't tell you that I'm horny, you weirdo.
Jex: You're boobs tell me lots of things... like when you're asleep.
Me: You touch my boobs when I'm sleeping?!
Jex: Well yeah, you can't tell me to stop then.
Me: Gah! I'm done talking to you.... and I'm putting this on Scenes from a Marriage!
Jex: Ok, but put the whole thing on.

For the record I am not a vampire. My husband however is a bonafied creeper. Though vampire chicks are always super gorgeous... maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

The Light Heart Lives Long

Man, typing a post is sooooo much easier with a key board.

I'm actually 7 on the inside

Carousel Life

Up and down, round and round, but at least it's flashy and full of sound.
The Carousel we call Life.

I'm back to the swing of things after all the fun and excitement of the U.K. and all the explosions that accosted my face shortly after coming back to the U.S.
My craft room is shaping up nicely and as soon as I get a new camera (a 2 year old busted mine... it's ok I was stupid enough to let her hold it while looking at pictures of herself.) I'm going to get back to I Spy. I've missed I Spy.

I don't know if it makes me lame, nerdy, intelligent, or anti-social (I'll probably go with Nerdy because that seems to fit most often) but I'm actually really excited about getting back into reading. I just started Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series on top of gobbling up every Codex of Alera book Jim Butcher has penned so fantasmically.
I have a special love for books. It's right next to my love for fun hats (I got a new one while in the U.K!!! I'll have to post a picture of it as my first 'new camera' post); only a little bit deeper. Why? Because I was a home schooler for a large chunk of my life.
What difference does that make? Actually quite a large one. After gradeschool a lot of people tend to send their kids off into the 'real' world, full of awkwardness and educational stagnation, completely unprepared; all the while praying that their children will adapt and be well rounded people instead of completely socially blind. I wasn't one of those kids. I got to go through middle school completely without peers; with the exception of the kids in the youth group at our church (cliche!). Guess what I did instead of gush over boy bands, or whatever it is middle school girls are supposed to do? You guessed it I read.
I read everything. Goosebumps, Chronicles of Narnia, G.A. Henti's historical fiction for boys, DK books on anything, cook books, mystery novels, and the gateway to all Dorkdom; Fantasy and SciFi.
I may not be the worlds most socially graceful individual, but damnit if I don't know a thing or two about fictional science and dragons. (^_^) hehehe.
I have a book that I read when I'm sad. I've read it nearly 20 times in my life.
I have a book that I dig into if I've had a good day. I have a book that I read if I want to draw but have no inspiration. I've got a book for almost everything.
And a favorite book of all.

So, tell me my two loyal readers and you too random passer by: "What's your favorite book and why?" Don't have a favorite book or just detest reading? Tell me about that too. (^_^)

Till the next time remember, The Light Heart Lives Long.

Oh and yes Daddio and Witchy are real people. My father in law and his girlfriend. They're fun.

Happy Crumbs/ and a fracking friday

There's something strangely elating about being stopped in the middle of Wal-Mart by a professional looking young man and being told that you're a beautiful woman. Makes you grin like an idiot all day.

Where have I been you ask? In the pit of Despaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair *cough*
Not really. I've been fine, unpacking and reorganizing the house and trying to pare down my wardrobe to something more manageable without getting rid of a single Kimono. (Ha!) It's my friend's lives that have been exploding left and right.

And here is where I will yell about all of it.
Exit now!



Frack you Douchbags, who will remain anonymous, who sold the house that Sony and Paladin were living in without telling them!!! You were supposed to be their friends! You suck. Telling Sony that you'd been thinking about it for months soothes NOTHING. Then giving her an ultimatum to get rid of her animals so that the house will sell. Just in case no one has told you, the world doesn't revolve around the two of you.

Frack You Pneumonia! Putting both my friend's grandpa and baby brother in the ICU. Now Cait's mom might have to lose a son and a father at the same time. Oh and to the heartless, unrelenting, retarded people on that side of Cait's family; DO SOMETHING HELPFUL! Arguing about who get's what before the man has even stopped breathing and being ugly to one another at a time like this is stupid. I think you've lost your hearts, better go find them before your souls run away too. Because of you shit heads Cait has to pack up her babies, in the middle of a move, and drive her happy ass up there to deal with you people instead of seeing to her own life. Shameful idiots.

Frack "OMG I might have an STD" phone calls! Who the hell knows what to say when the most 'chaste' of your friends confesses that they probably have an STD and then talks about taking the person to court for knowingly exposing them. What do you say to that?! Is there anything to say? "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. "Why are you talking to me? Go to the doctor!" is just a bit heartless. I opted for "What?! How?! When did you get a significant other?" Probably not much better. But it got the conversation going enough to get things pointed in more or less the right direction... which is the doctor. I didn't even know you could take someone to court for giving you an STD. I'm kinda weirded out about that still.

FRACK YOU TRAVEL AGENCIES!!!! If it didn't cost an arm, a leg, an eye, and my first born I'd be able to be there for my friends. Some one please invent a teleporter! Then gas prices would go down enough for me to be able to DO something. *sigh*

I hate you front yard. You have too many hills. Mowing you is impossible.

Frack no one telling me about how to be an adult. I feel so stupid half the time because I don't know how to do half the things that are second nature to civilians. Like the fact that you sign the front of the checks. No one told me this! I had the pleasure of the tax office sending back my check telling me that it wasn't signed and I needed to sign it and send it back. I didn't know where the Frack to sign it. Surely not the back because I know that's what's done when the check is being cashed. After about a minute of staring at the check to figure out where to apply my John Hancock I gave up and decided to see Daddiyo and Witchy and ask for their help. Now I feel really really dumb. *sigh*

Fracking Weddings!!

Time to air out the dirty laundry I've gathered in the United Kingdom.

Frack you Delta!!! FRACK YOU ALL THE WAY TO HIDDEN VALLY RANCH!!! No airsick bags when I was thinking about wether or not to hurl on the nice scottish dude on my left or the weird man of unknown asian/indian decent to my right. Nothing worked when you sent me that stupid email to check in online. And why the flying Fish Balls would you give me an early morning flight?! WHY do you do these things to me?! I HATE YOUR FACE!!! and your food sux mega.

Dear Miss Wedding CoOrdinator, You ma'am need to find a new profession. Not only was NOTHING ready on time, you were never there when we needed something. I'm sure you could find a good job that has to do with looking the professional part. That grey suit was smashing on you with your severe bun and all that. However, when the bride is fretting over where to go before the ceremony so that the groom doesn't see her and jinx the whole bit because SOMEONE didn't set up hardly ANYTHING it's time to take that grey suit and walk it some where else... maybe the front desk or some cubical in some office building somewhere.

FRACK YOU BRIDES MAID DRESS!!!! As cute and purple and princessy as you are you have no right to cause friction burns on the sides of my boobs. Also, tripping me while going up the stairs holding my sister's train, not cool dude.

Frack you person who will remain anonymous for the sake of peace and tranquility. You know who you are. The wedding was not about you. Really it wasn't, and the way you tried to jump in the lime light really really pissed me off. Elff and BigBen will only get this day. If you could get your head out of your ass and take other people into account, not just put on that pretty mask your mommy helped you paint, and actually give a frack about them then maybe you could find room in your heart and have your own special day. As it is your heart is too full of you for anyone else, and I pray that you wake up before it's too late. Till you do, don't you fracking steal my sister's thunder or try and take BigBen's attention away from her. 'Cause if you do I don't have a problem slapping the stupid right off your face, and your sister's, and your mother's, as well as whoever else you charm to your side. Hell hath no fury, and sister I've been deeper into hell than you ever have, you have a snowball's chance.

Dad... I love you... your driving fracking scares me... thank you for not killing us. Really, thank you for not killing us.

Dear United Kingdom, I understand that you're having issues with debt and economy enfeeblement... but so is the rest of the Gaia Smacking world!!! There is no reason, NO FRACKING REASON that you should expect me to pay 7 POUNDS, not 7 dollars nooooo, 7 pounds which is nearly 13 dollars, for a bloody keychain with one of those cute little phone booths on it.
Want a hat? No problem that'll be your left arm. Ohhhh, you want something to commemorate the fact that you were here during the diamond jubilee for the queen, the Olympics, aaaand your sisters fairytail flogging wedding? That'll be you're first born son and you're husbands thumbs... no we don't take american express.

Frack you Timing. I want to punch you in the face. Our relationship will be forever one of hatred with little spots of love/gratitude. You're going to have to lighten up on me here soon or I think I'll have to shave father time's head in retaliation. And that's just weird.

Frack you brain. It's 4 o-clock in the morning, you can work just a little bit quicker. This is probably the last blog post I can manage for a while since my internet time and my life is transient at best when I'm in the states.

Frack you High Heels, I'm tossing you into the Hidden Vally with all of Delta. Whoever invented you was a sadist. Marilyn Monroe was wrong, or also a sadist. It's been nearly 48 hours and my feet are still crying. Ugh, why didn't I just wear flats?

Finally, Frack You USAF!!!!!!!!!!!! You're going to the Vally too! I want to see Jex sometimes. As it is I'm lucky to see him once every two weeks. You get him all the damned time! I just survived a Wedding! I deserve some hubby time damnit! I also survived my aunt for a few days, my squabbling brothers, and all the aforementioned fracktastic crap, on top of a super shitty exchange rate. Oh and did you know that I've put in enough time as a military dependent to get some leave? Yup, I'm cashing that in for Jex time, so hand him the frack over!
(note: Some units allow their members to cash in their leave/vacation time for pay instead. Hence my comment. Just in case you didn't know.)

The Light Heart Lives Long.... and mine is now considerably lighter.