Fracking Friday!!!

I'm posting this sort of preemptively because tomorrow I'll be driving all day Friday and then hurriedly getting together with friends who are about to move to the other side of the Fracking Country and leaving me alone in the possibly God Forsaken South.
So exit now, you're going to Frackville.

I don't know about you but animals in Heat really really suck. Not kidding you, I really don't like hurting animals; even the ones that try and tear your face off or have your arm clamped between their teeth. All I wanted to do to Kq!b' was kick her while she was in heat. She was glued to my ankles, I was constantly tripping over her, she would not stop whining and yowling and licking me and trying to break through the glass panes every time she saw another dog through the window. And God WHY did you have to make it smell so bad?! Dog in Heat is honestly one of the more disgusting things I've smelled in my lifetime and I've been around dead things, backed up septic tanks, and barnyards. It was in my house.
I have a bit of a pet peeve about bad smells in my house. I swear I've used more Fabreeze and Bleach this week than I have in the entirety of my life before the dog went into heat. Ugh!!! UUUUGGGGHHHH!

Frack being a woman... today it's just not worth it. *eats more motrine*

And Frack driving for 6 hours!!!! I don't like it! Not to mention it usually coincides with the one week I'm not entirely up to driving for 6 hours. Be it that I'm getting sick, or bleeding, or have a broken foot or whatthehellever.

I also would like to take this moment to complain about dishes, not being used to having the internet at my fingertips and therefore poorly misusing my day/life, the red clay that is under my house, plumbing, the master bathroom toilet, my husband, my husbands wire brush mustache, my old broken computer, and the price of fabric!
Is that it? maybe? Well I feel a little lighter now.

Till next time, may your heart be light.

Fracking Weddings!!

Time to air out the dirty laundry I've gathered in the United Kingdom.

Frack you Delta!!! FRACK YOU ALL THE WAY TO HIDDEN VALLY RANCH!!! No airsick bags when I was thinking about wether or not to hurl on the nice scottish dude on my left or the weird man of unknown asian/indian decent to my right. Nothing worked when you sent me that stupid email to check in online. And why the flying Fish Balls would you give me an early morning flight?! WHY do you do these things to me?! I HATE YOUR FACE!!! and your food sux mega.

Dear Miss Wedding CoOrdinator, You ma'am need to find a new profession. Not only was NOTHING ready on time, you were never there when we needed something. I'm sure you could find a good job that has to do with looking the professional part. That grey suit was smashing on you with your severe bun and all that. However, when the bride is fretting over where to go before the ceremony so that the groom doesn't see her and jinx the whole bit because SOMEONE didn't set up hardly ANYTHING it's time to take that grey suit and walk it some where else... maybe the front desk or some cubical in some office building somewhere.

FRACK YOU BRIDES MAID DRESS!!!! As cute and purple and princessy as you are you have no right to cause friction burns on the sides of my boobs. Also, tripping me while going up the stairs holding my sister's train, not cool dude.

Frack you person who will remain anonymous for the sake of peace and tranquility. You know who you are. The wedding was not about you. Really it wasn't, and the way you tried to jump in the lime light really really pissed me off. Elff and BigBen will only get this day. If you could get your head out of your ass and take other people into account, not just put on that pretty mask your mommy helped you paint, and actually give a frack about them then maybe you could find room in your heart and have your own special day. As it is your heart is too full of you for anyone else, and I pray that you wake up before it's too late. Till you do, don't you fracking steal my sister's thunder or try and take BigBen's attention away from her. 'Cause if you do I don't have a problem slapping the stupid right off your face, and your sister's, and your mother's, as well as whoever else you charm to your side. Hell hath no fury, and sister I've been deeper into hell than you ever have, you have a snowball's chance.

Dad... I love you... your driving fracking scares me... thank you for not killing us. Really, thank you for not killing us.

Dear United Kingdom, I understand that you're having issues with debt and economy enfeeblement... but so is the rest of the Gaia Smacking world!!! There is no reason, NO FRACKING REASON that you should expect me to pay 7 POUNDS, not 7 dollars nooooo, 7 pounds which is nearly 13 dollars, for a bloody keychain with one of those cute little phone booths on it.
Want a hat? No problem that'll be your left arm. Ohhhh, you want something to commemorate the fact that you were here during the diamond jubilee for the queen, the Olympics, aaaand your sisters fairytail flogging wedding? That'll be you're first born son and you're husbands thumbs... no we don't take american express.

Frack you Timing. I want to punch you in the face. Our relationship will be forever one of hatred with little spots of love/gratitude. You're going to have to lighten up on me here soon or I think I'll have to shave father time's head in retaliation. And that's just weird.

Frack you brain. It's 4 o-clock in the morning, you can work just a little bit quicker. This is probably the last blog post I can manage for a while since my internet time and my life is transient at best when I'm in the states.

Frack you High Heels, I'm tossing you into the Hidden Vally with all of Delta. Whoever invented you was a sadist. Marilyn Monroe was wrong, or also a sadist. It's been nearly 48 hours and my feet are still crying. Ugh, why didn't I just wear flats?

Finally, Frack You USAF!!!!!!!!!!!! You're going to the Vally too! I want to see Jex sometimes. As it is I'm lucky to see him once every two weeks. You get him all the damned time! I just survived a Wedding! I deserve some hubby time damnit! I also survived my aunt for a few days, my squabbling brothers, and all the aforementioned fracktastic crap, on top of a super shitty exchange rate. Oh and did you know that I've put in enough time as a military dependent to get some leave? Yup, I'm cashing that in for Jex time, so hand him the frack over!
(note: Some units allow their members to cash in their leave/vacation time for pay instead. Hence my comment. Just in case you didn't know.)

The Light Heart Lives Long.... and mine is now considerably lighter.

Fracking Friday: B.C. = before common-sense

Alright, so this week has actually been really good. With the exception of Jex's secret squirrel stuff that makes it hard to sleep sometimes. Then I end up crashing on the couch for 3 hours (oops) and forgetting to let the dog out.

But of course something rears it's ugly head and demands that you fuss about it over the internet. And this time I can't stay quiet because to me this smacks of propaganda and divide and conquer tactics.
Let me start off by saying that I don't like griping about politics because I swear the Internet Trolls have little spyware programs that alert them to every new post and comment about the crap. Like ungainly crows they then follow their little spies to your blog and set it on fire!!!
But this time it's ok. Because I feel this is more a problem of common sense.

Birth Control Pills.
Why?!!! WHY?!!! This is so stupid! Really on every account.
IF it isn't broke don't fix it! Sure if you can streamline or boost something effectiveness; do it. But otherwise leave it the Frack alone! There was no outcry that I know of that led to Obama's bill. If anyone knows of a push for this kind of legislation provide me a link in the comments so I can check it out.
As far as I remember, co-pay on B.C. wasn't too bad. Less than cell phone service that's for sure.
Ahhhh! Just AHHHHHH!
All I can think of is Hunger Games, because it's the most recent book I read. The whole presidential debate was getting boring so the President Makers decided to start a huge debate on a gender/sexual/religious scale. That aught to get everyone's attention.
Well it got mine and I do my best to stay out of Politics for my own sanity, so I guess it worked.

So yeah pretty much my only complaint this week is my frustration with where our government is going. Gone are talks about the deficit, jobs, incumbent bastards in congress, and the things that actually matter. Now we're all wrapped around this issue that brings out the worst in all of us. The sexist vs. the feminist, the unconcerned vs. the overly concerned, the religious vs. the other religious. It's sad, it's frustrating, and it shouldn't be happening.

Here are some more links if you're interested. I tried to get the Time report, but unless you're a subscriber you're not privy to their information. Meh.

Huffington Post: Catholic Bishops on Obama's bill
The Washington Post version of the same story as above
The D.C. I don't know if this is accurate, but it has a lot of links of it's own so you can follow the proverbial 'paper trail' if you wish.

I Spy a Fracking Friday

I SPY!!
Well... not only was I going to be a day late for ISpy... but I also had a lisdexic attack and switched the prompts for this week and last week. In the spirit of bruised pride I'm going to post a really cute picture and wave my hand like a Jedi so that you'll forget about how lame I am.






A Fracking Friday

Oh God where to begin.

I love my husband... but I am going to KILL HIM. He's recently decided to write a daily task list for me. All in the spirit of helping me out (because there's a hole in my head somewhere that one thing always manages to fall out of) I know but it's starting to piss me off. I'm a grown woman damnit! I don't need some one writing out a honey do list for me! BLARGH!

On top of that, we have to get a new car, move into a house we don't have yet, AND have company the entire time in less than 60 days. Well I guess we don't have to get a new car... but 11-14 miles per gallon is seriously eating into the money we use to buy food.

Oh by the way, F*^%%&*(*)^$#@!!! You gas prices.

DAMN YOU "15 minute hell" work out dvd. Not only did I look like a complete tard throughout the entire workout, but now my thighs are screaming for me to kill you.

Frack You mother nature, you and your warm weather and stinky yellow spores and making my dog shed all over. My nose hates you and so does my poor asthmatic vacuum cleaner.

In closing I would like to take this time to remind people that I am not a good pen pal. I will not write on a regular basis because I feel that I don't have much to write about that one would enjoy reading. Hence the blog; where people can read and if they don't like it leave and if they do then Yay!
I have told everyone who has ever met me not to expect a lot of FaceBook messages, posts, or the like. And if I send you a letter or a package once every few years that means I think about you a TON so feel loved. Also I'm a NERD, I do not initiate conversation very often. I'm awkward and my opening phrases are about as ungainly as a baby horse, every one knows this! So stop giving me guilt trips on FaceBook about not messaging you! or calling or whatever. My nature will only change if something drastic happens or I find that 'welcome to adulthood' class I seem to have missed somewhere along the way.

That is all... Carry on.

Frellin' Friday!!!!! *madface*

It's only 2:22 and already I'm revved up and ready to punch Friday in the face.
But "Frack You Friday" is more about a collage of all the frustrations of the week.
So I'm going to borrow Dazee's listing method and try to get some of the frustrations that are kinking my neck out.

Frack you Rinky! You couldn't have waited literally 10 more minutes before you dropped your valve seat into the engine?!

Frack You College Application Process!!!! Frack you to HELL! Why on earth do you have to be so particular about where you get the documents from? Do you know how much money goes into administration fees to get those stupid 10 cent papers to you? Oh wait, I forgot, it's a scam because the board of education takes all your money. But still! Over $100 bucks in fees later just for you to tell me whether or not Jex can go to school there and you're still not satisfied... you want me to fill out a FAFSA.

Which brings me to the crescendo.

F*(&^*%&$*&^)*_)#@#%# You FAFSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are not enough rings in hell for me to cast you far enough down to feel satisfied. Since when is it a requirement to disclose EVERYTHING, and I mean everything, to a college. It's not the college's business how much we have in savings and what we're planning to purchase with it. Now if we were applying for financial aide then sure I get that. But we're not, we haven't even gotten to that yet. They want to know things that I don't even know about myself and I'm pretty sure I'm the authority. Last time I checked anyways.

Frack You OldMan Gamer! I'm married. Not only that but I could be your daughter. And you smell. You've started creeping me out, leave me alone. Sure you used to be cool. But this whole not contacting me hardly at all while Jex is around and then blowing up my phone the day after he leaves for TDY is NOT COOL. If you keep up the way you are and don't get the massive sign I painted for you I may just have to disown the game along with you.

Frack You Kq!b' (And Frack Jex for spelling your name so weird!!!!). If you and your little puppy face keeps me awake all night one more time I will have a new fur coat and a really nice dinner.

Frack You Fort Bragg! Not only did you take away my hubby, but you're too damned big to be a military base. You have a HIGHWAY!!! You're ridiculous with your one way streets and having a poorly constructed Air Force Base at your heart.

Frack You Belly Fat! Do you not notice the change in diet and all the stupid exercises? I know you've noticed some of the exercises, you screamed loud enough yesterday for the neighbors to hear you. So go away already! I'm going to continue to do my 'healthy' thing until you give up and then some!

Finally a big heart felt Frack You to the SandLand Base Library for being closed all day Friday instead of choosing a Tuesday or another random day that most people don't go to town and run their errands.