Wednesday, April 6, 2011

You know you married into Rednecks When....

Your husband gets you out of bed to watch him pet an Opossum with a shoe.

Maybe I should be fair. It didn't start out that way.

My back hurt, my hubby had gotten a back rub, we were laying in bed trying to sleep when we heard the metal food bowl on my father in law's porch start to clang. Munching and crunching noises filled the night and my husband asks: "Is that the Opossum?"
I answer with a groggy: "Yup."
Jex gets out of bed to try and get a peek at it. The guest bedroom windows are long and have a great view of the porch. But it was a little too dark for him to see.
Jex: "Hey hun?"
Rem: "uhhnng?"
Jex: "Would you mind turning on the porch light? If you don't want to get out of bed I can do it."
Rem: "Grmbleminute."
So, I get out of bed and turn on the porch light. And, ya know, Opossums aren't as ugly as I thought they were supposed to be. This one was actually really fluffy with a cute white face topped with little black mouse ears.
We oogled for a minute or so (I'm not a city slicker, but I spent a good chunk of my life overseas where foxes and tanuki are more normal than Opossums) then my husband picks up a shoe gets on his shorts and announces with more excitement than I've seen him display in a while: "I'm going to go pet it!"

Hmmm. My woman instincts aren't sure this is a good idea, but hell it's a little guy what harm could it do? So I open the door for him and flip on the light.

The Opossum was not sure about Jex at all. He stayed about a food and a half away. Slowly trying to back peddle from the huge monster that erupted unceremoniously from the building that gave him a steady supply of cat food (poor U-gly <-- my father in law's cat). Jex moved to match the Opossum's speed and before I knew it they were in the corner of the porch; the Opossum with his pointy mouth wide to show off needle like teeth and growling pitifully, my husband cooing to it while he pet it with his sneaker.

This morning I stood in the doorway of my father in law's alternately gawking incredulously and laughing hysterically at the sight gifted to me. There's no denying it now... I married into Red Necks.

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