To Eve with not so much love.

Dear Eve,
I have something to tell you. Although I'm sure you've heard it before. Honestly I really meant to be the one woman to give you a break but today and this last week have broken that resolve.
*ahem*
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Was the fruit that shiny?! What kind of a woman listens to a snake with legs over God?!
Yeah sure, the legs were normal in your time, and your cautionary tale is probably why women will never listen to a snake no matter how silver his tongue. If you were still alive we'd have words, lots and lots of words, most of them R material.
With some pity,
Your very peeved descendant.