Home again home again... jiggidy jig...

I loved the crap out of Thanksgiving and the family and the fun. Oh the fun!
If it were ok for me to have Thanksgiving every month I would totally do it!

.... Then comes Christmas ....

You will see no joy from me over the upcoming ulcer indusing holiday of massproduction. I am a Scrooge with everything but the lights. I do really enjoy Christmas lights and driving down the housing developements with snacks and hot cocoa just gazing at the crazy compilations flung over every home.

But that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm HOME! My own house, my own pillow, my own kitchen. And the climb up to the 3rd floor.
I am however not jigging because I busted both my knees the night we got home (yesterday).

You see. Kiyaba, the 35lb puppy (DEAR GOD don't let her get any bigger!), was so excited to be home she had to stuff the entire appartment complex up her nose. Not kidding.
It was dark, wet cold, and I was tired from driving forever and a day back to Sandland from Texas and all I wanted her to do was pee so I could climb up the stairs and go to bed. I didn't have her on her leash because typically Kiyaba is really well behaved. But not that night. No. She just HAD to track down Wally, the chocolate lab she plays with sometimes and then FREAK OUT when I followed her. Stupid dog bolted.
Now I have lost a puppy before because it freaked out and bolted (hence why I love cats more, they've never once ran away from me). So my sleep deprived face flipped out a little and propelled me down the cement stairs at speeds unusual for a non-runner such as myself.
Leaning down I managed to get a hold of Kiyaba's scruff and trip on the last step at the same time. Oh yes. There was a flurry of fur and blue stripes as we skid and rolled on the side walk. And wouldn't you know it the majority of the impact was on my knees.
With fewer curses than I felt like shouting I picked up the biggest puppy on earth and limped back to our appartment building and up the stairs and proptly shut her in the laudry room before getting ice.
I decided against a picture because it might gross some people out. However if they bruise really prettily I'm definately putting one up.
Isn't it grand to be home? *grumble mumble sigh*

PCS season is here again!

PCS= permanent change of station. It's a military term that, like with most military terms, is slightly stupid because 'permanent' usually means between 8 months to 4 years. It's a grand adventure to be sure, full of trouble, danger, monsters, and daring escapes.

It was a normal day in Sandy Land, hotter than God and brighter than any day has a reason to be. Jex sat at his desk doing his normal jobish things, secret and not so secret, when lo and behold the orders he had been waiting 2 years for get thrown on his lap. Sure they were half done and taped together in weird places, and were those teeth marks on the corner? It mattered not for the orders dictated that he find an apartment in a weeks time so that he could move to Sandy Land in two weeks.
Oh dear. Jex called upon his wife to run the red chariot around Sandy Land to find them a home worth living in. A place that was price worthy (prieswert, a german term since the english equivalent is evading me... ha ha alliteration), would allow a loyal furry companion, and within bicycle distance of the Great Fortress.
Wiffer Wife prevailed and found them a lovely place on the third floor. Open and perfect in size for all their Shtuff.

The couple then travelled to Jex's ancestral home of Podunk in the Georgia Mountains to procure all the Shtuff that William had been keeping in trust especially for this day. Finding a great chariot at a good price the family proceeded to load their Stuff for departure.

However, no one knew of the nest that hummed just below William's front gate. The great chariot was nearly full when Flying Beasts began to attack the family. Assbreaker Tony killed many with his mighty Cosmo, but too late. One of the black creatures assailed Jex and stung him under the eye! Jex killed the beast and asked for his wife's aid before the eye that was attacked swelled shut. It didn't help that one of the beasts had gotten Wiffer Wife's hand earlier that week and it was swollen like a balloon.
Will and Dizzy went for reinforcements. Nothing more could be done till the nest of Flying Beasts was destroyed (damn wasps). Lo, while they were gathering cavalry a great gust blew a mighty storm onto Will's little home and stranded him and Dizzy in the torrent. Jex despaired that the great chariot would ever be filled.
But they prevailed! With the chariot full Jex attached rinky the dinky red chariot to the back and began the long journey to Sandy Land. The fell storm found them on the way and made the roads slick. Other chariots travelling the same path crashed into one another, and the PoPo was out en masse for what the couple did not know.
Finally, at their destination Jex made to get the rinky red chariot off the great chariot so they could unload. But Rinky was Dead! Oh no, not Rinky! (stupid cheap battery)
Luckily a Security Forces enlistee was there to help at Wiffer Wife's pitiful plee for help.
Jex and Ashes, aka Wiffer Wife, hauled 6,000lbs of Shtuff to the 3rd floor. Jex carried a couch up the stairs by himself (and he looked soooo hot doing it!). Luckily the man who lived across the way was kind enough to help them get the last couch in the home.

All was well with Jex and Ashes, they had their place, away from the ancestral stomping grounds were the in-laws lived. Then more orders dropped in Jex's lap, these were covered in red tape and stupid sauce. He was to ship out for the Forbidden North, to train for more secret and not so secret stuff the Fortress needed from him. He was to leave his wife and be gone for nearly 4 moons! Ashes was not happy, but it had to be done. After living in Sandy Land for only 6 days Jex was taken to the Forbidden North and Ashes was left in the flaming hot Sandy Land, knowing no one and no thing familiar.
..... to be continued....

So yes, that is where we are right now. I am keeping busy though. Mountains of boxes don't unpack themselves. Maybe I can get pictures up when they're all gone!
Also I'm looking for a job to offset the massive amount of money I have to spend come September. Yay bride's maid dress! Hooray Within Temptation concert! AHHHH! I'm so excited!!!! *ahem*
I'll catch up with everyone and everything when life finds a rhythm. Till then: love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe!
(God I love Spell Check!)

The Gypsy Wife moves again!

Since I've been married I've lived in 5 states, 3 houses, and 3 extended stay hotels... did I mention that I've only been married for nearly 2 years?
The time has come again to move back to South Carolina. All this week until Sunday Jex and I will be breathing fire at our copious amount of stuff or each other while we get everything ready for the move. I probably won't have internet, but by batman's pointed helmet I'm going to do my best to keep tally of the not-so-funny-at-the-time stuff that will make me laugh later.
Sunday is driving day. Monday is fill the apartment with boxes day! I've already been promised awesomeness if I can get everything unpacked and in a logical 'home' within a week of filling the place with boxes.
Think I can do it? *shifty eyes*
Ja ne! At least until I can get the internet hooked up in our new home.

Of Apartment Hunting and Government Websites

Of Apartment Hunting...

I'm in South Carolina right now, hunting for a place to live come August 1st. I really enjoy the mobility of the Military, I mean where else do you get two weeks notice to pack your life up into the back of a truck and find a new pad? *laughs*

This leads me to find the joys of hunting for the right place to live. I'm used to base housing; one size fits most and usually a few years out of date but good. The commander of personnel says: "Hmmm you and your dependent are authorized up to a two bedroom." And you go pick the least abused flat available.
I'm not used to lists of amenities, pet fees, security deposits, paying 3 months rent up front (yeah, I thought that was a little much, too) and application fees. Nor renting a place that has less space in the kitchen than the little extended stay hotel room I find myself typing from for nearly 1,000 a month (including internet, television, and utilities).
While listening to hyped up reasons why whatever apartment I was standing in was the one for me I kept trying to think of the right questions to ask. I nearly made a cultural blunder and luckily caught myself in time (though I probably looked a little special as I stared at the ceiling for a moment half way through my sentence).
After hearing the price I almost asked: Hot or Cold? In Germany that phrase means: Hot= All utilities are included in the rent price or Cold= none of the utilities are covered in the rent price you have to get that squared away yourself. Hehe.
I think we've found a good place. It's open, though small, and close enough to base that we can ride our bikes everywhere we need to go. AND it's right across the street from a little Korean market! My next adventure will be getting electricity turned on! yay?

... and Government Websites.

When we get up here I want to have a job within a few weeks. I've been going stir crazy being home all by my lonely without much to take care of. So it would be great if I could get a job on base so that I could drive to work with Jex when the weather was bad or we just didn't feel like riding bikes (because Americans will TAKE YOU OUT if you ride on the street).
To get a job on base I have to go to this website and make a profile so they can make sure I'm not a terrorist and stuff.
Problem: Stupid website only accepts phone numbers in American format... most all my work experience is overseas.
More Problems: It wants me to have a current employer... unless you count my dictator (I love you hunny) husband I don't have one.

So I've decided to try and find my old resume and type it up (because dangit I want to work at the library!) and for current employer I'm going to stick "husband". And when the guy/gal interviewing me asks why all the phone numbers are hollywood numbers (you know 555-XXXX) I'm just going to tell him/her that the website made me do it.

I might just start using that on a regular basis to get a rise out of people. Hehe.
Cop: "Why are you taping ribbon dancers to all the car antennae?"
Ashes: *cute innocent face* "The website made me do it." *smile*

.... yeah, I think I'd just get arrested, too.