Saturday, December 10, 2011

fitting room blues

Today I went Christmas shopping for some stocking stuffers. I'm going to print out some pages of cool stuff and have my family pick what they'd like for Present Day. I bring the stuffers because most people don't understand Present Day and get sad that I didn't give them anything on Christmas Day.

What is Present Day you ask? Present Day is the day after Christmas. Jex and I go shopping for/with one another while all the After Christmas shenannagans are going on and pick up stuff for half of what we would have got it for earlier in the year. What can I say; we're frugal.

Anyway, so the point. I like button up shirts. They're flattering on most every body type if they actually fit right. Which they NEVER do and like an idiot I still try them on every year come the holidays when they're out on all the racks look deceptively beautiful.
So here's my question: Who are they making mass produced clothes to fit?
Really, what body type/ BMI formula/ measurment combo are they going off of? Why is it that a size 5 juniors is too small for my big ass dainty butt but I can go and buy a girls 16 regular and it fits like a glove. WTF?!
I think that some one needs to tell me how to get a hold of big clothing companies so I can send them a mass printed letter.

The letter would go something like this:

Honorable CEO of [enter company name here],
I don't know if you've noticed but you're losing a lot of sales because many people can't fit into the clothes your robots sew together. If you have time I have a suggestion for button up shirts in particular. Perhaps this idea can be edited and used with a variety of your other products at a later time.
Make button up shirts that take into consideration cup size. Have S, M, and L shirts as normal but adjust for the varying chests that are trying to fit into them. Sm A would denote some one who's small and has a small chest where as Sm C would be one of those girls that despairs ever finding a shirt that will fit her figure.
I happen to own a sewing machine and know a few tricks to get stuff to fit me better, the majority of America does not follow this life style. Convienience makes money and it'd be really really convinient if I didn't have to edit everything I bought to fit my boobs.
Sincerely, Mrs. Ashes

Of course I'd look up more intellegent sounding vernacular. Probably bother Rachel over at her Chronicles to help me or something.

I was going to write about something else but now I can't remember. Probably something to do with the book store never having enough cashiers, ever. Oh wells.
Happy Christmas shopping to all and to all good deals.


  1. lmao. Love the letter. And it really is a good idea.

    hmmmm, what is it I was thinking I wanted you to get me???? I can't remember. oh well, my loss.

  2. Sing it, sister! Also, can you talk to them about why bras for busty chicks cost so much more? A little extra material and twice the price . . . wtf?