Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day 13 of the 30 day challenge

I'm stalling with the more interesting stuff that has happened today so that I can get the video online.
But between taking a car sick dog to the vet and rolling myself up in a Kimono in under half an hour, I had a good day.

So the 30 day challenge likes to make you do things that could possibly kill your relationships.
Day 14 is: Write a letter telling some one something that you could never tell them.
And this is where I stand back and go 'hmmmmmm'.
For the most part I live my life to the code of 'If you ask I will tell.' Why? Because it's less stressful that way.
"Do you like my hair hun?" the hubby asks. "It's too freaking short.Don't worry, you're still hot even with stupid hair." The wifey responds.
Most people have heard what I have had to say to them... and what I wouldn't say is probably close to bitching and really depressing. You've been warned.

Rant in 3...



Dear N,
This is old hat but I realize I never said this to your face as clearly as I wanted to. So here it is.
I'm not sorry. We had an understanding, I thought. I wish I could feel less hurt and betrayed but I can't. Just to let you know I have forgiven you and I still love you. But I will NEVER, EVER, I reiterate EVAAAAR let you near Jex again. There were other ways to get his attention and you knew how involved we were. For a while I really really hated you and him and me. That trust can never be completely rebuilt.

Dear Aunt,
You're a witch. Sitting and watching you for the few months I did I was so glad I didn't have to grow up with you. I remember you asking why my super awesome favorite cousin turned out the way she did... well it's pretty much you. At least I can see the soft, broken, human side of grandma. You however, I can't get passed the titanium reinforced casing to see anything. Maybe you've gotten better, maybe you'll get better, but I don't care. If I see you again I'll be cordial and civil but I will not put up with you ever again. I know the hole you wallow in is comfortable but it's damned depressing. I think you'd do better to get out of it and walk in the sunshine of life. God is GOD, if he wants to do a frelling miracle he'll do a frelling miracle! Don't spoon feed people your bull crap about him no longer taking much of an active part of our lives. DON'T tell me the horrifying crap that I experienced as a kid was just a 'night terror'; I didn't choke myself in my sleep, the thing that woke me up wasn't just 'wishful thinking' and the thing it protected me from wasn't 'a hallucenation'. And while I'm at it, LOVE YOUR MOTHER!
Does she deserve it? Not really. She's hurt me emotionally too. But damnit if I can work at loving my mother, and feel bad about trying to hash out things with her about the past because of all the progress she's made, then you can too. While I'm at it, LOVE YOUR FAMILY DAMNIT! Take the time, spend a little gas money, if money is all that tight ask for a little help. If you'd love to see and help us I'm pretty sure we'd love to see you more often. Wouldn't you like to be missed instead of dreaded?
Oh and that email I sent. Not disrespectful. I asked a question straightforward and expected an answer not for you to turn around and email my mother about what a brat I was being. If you're pissed at me tell me you're pissed at me. One day I'll forgive you, because I'll be damned if you make me as bitter as you are. I'm so glad you aren't on facebook, oh God am I glad.
*deep breath* *woo saaa* ~ You're bent neice.


  1. Very good. You are doing so awesome at this challenge. It must be a little bit liberating.

  2. Yeah, just a little bit.(^_^)