Dear Corporate America,
My throat would love it if you would stop forcibly shoving Christmas down it. Quite honestly pine trees don't go down very smoothly and the blood trail, though matching with the holiday color scheme, is really bad for my carpet.
Couldn't you wait until the day after Thanks Giving, or for heaven's sake November first? It's really disconcerting to see a Christmas tree in the middle of bat and witch shaped cookies.
I mean you're confusing the little kids. They're going to think that Santa is some demon who comes down the chimney to suck their blood.
It would be really nice if you could try not to look so eager to take every penny of our hard earned cash. We might forget how greedy and overpriced you are if you respect the Holidays and stop putting Santa hats on Turkeys and Christmas lights over the fake blood and gore.
Sincerely a very annoyed ex-customer.
Sometimes You Just Get A Bag Of Dicks
1 day ago