The Weird Places I Find Myself.

Unless you've run across my blog on accident, just now, you already know that I'm weird. This weirdness plants me in some very hard to deal with situations. The most recent being that I wish I could find a doctor that spoke German so we could go over the German vaccine schedule. Then there's the whole "Germany uses different vaccines than we do" thing, and lets not forget that this is America and we have the best blah blah blah.
*cough*wereallydont*cough*
I am not an antivaxer. Do not take this the wrong way. I simply don't drink anyone's kool-aid.

It's really frustrating. I read this great article as soon as I found out I was pregnant on nutrition and exercise for pregnancy. It was concise, easily understandable, and sited research for every suggestion. It also suggested a glass of red wine and/or a dark beer at least once a week for mineral content. And it's not like I can just print it out and take it with me to my next appointment. They can't read it, they're not going to take my word for it, and google-translate is awefulsauce. I'm going to say "a glass of dark beer" and they're going to put the breaks on and give me some CDC report filled with fetal alcohol syndrome horror stories. Not my midwives, they're awesome, but most of the medical professionals I've met are really uptight about that kind of stuff.

I have never been so flustered. Even when I first moved back to the States and was struggling with our Bi-Polar societal norms (still working on finding all the invisible lines) I wasn't this flustered. At least then I could talk to some one and explain myself. I didn't need to prove that in Japan you take your shoes off by the door to keep the inside of your house clean. That was one google search away, and in English. Medical studies, not so much.

But hey! At least I found integrated medicine while on this wild goose chase. Maybe the pediatrician I choose will let me translate some of the stuff for him/her and happiness and rainbows.... hey I can be optimistic.

Scenes from a Marriage

You get two scenes today! Lucky you; either that or Jex has just been extra silly lately.

Scene 1: In the living room. I have just eaten the last of my expensive, but totally worth it, Bubbies pickles (they don't have corn syrup in them or vinegar, they are ligit pickles). The jar mostly full of brine sits on our rad new coffee table.

Jex: Pickle juice is ok to drink right?
Me: Yeah, it's just salt and water. Maybe some spices.
Jex: So it's like Gatorade but better!
Me: Yeah I guess so.
*A few minutes later while doing the dishes I hear this joyous announcement*
Jex: It's like a tasty ocean!!!



Scene 2: On the phone with my wonderful husband.

Jex: You have the cookie stuff ready for me?
Me: Yeah, it's in the freezer ready to be baked. How many did you need?
Jex: Not many, like 6 or 8.
Me: Ok, yeah there should be enough from the last batch of cookies I made.
Jex: Also I need you to find me a tupperware that has no friends.
Me: A tupperware that has no friends?!
Jex: Yeah, like one that isn't part of a set, and you wouldn't mind losing.
[I totally laughed at him, and will shamelessly continue to chuckle all day.]

Thoughts on the "Mommy Wars"

22 weeks! Yay!

So at this stage of pregnancy I'm trying to figure out important things like which pediatrician will treat me like a sentient being, if I should save for a pump, and where to put the baby gear. I do know that most my plans at this point will go flying into hyperspace as soon as the little human is around, but it doesn't hurt to have a plan.

One of the things I'm trying to decide is whether or not to spend the time to make a nursing cover. In this endeavor I have run face first into what is affectionately called 'the mommy wars.' Yeah sure I saw that formula commercial, but I thought it mostly summed up parenting forum trolls not the more reasonable masses. Honestly, I'm a little shocked at how quickly and sharply people get their nickers in a twist.
I saw a response post on one of those fancy popular blogs, about breast feeding with a cover and how the bloggess' children stopped tolerating it at about 4 months old, that was well written. The woman didn't point fingers or call names. She simply stated some scientific facts that she'd read somewhere, shared an experience she had with a nursing mother in a restaurant and her 7 year old daughter, and said that that she didn't understand why covering was so hard unless the kid had gotten into a no cover routine at home. Simple, straight forward, not trying to be a jerk. She had some 'scientific facts' and was trying to join the conversation. Nice.
Not so nice were the majority of the responses. It was like she had dropped a nice bit of troll bait in the comment box and they came rolling in from every corner of the internet. Some were trying to be nice, oh they were trying, but for the most part people just let their comments fly because they were confident and convicted. Being me I've been contemplating the phenomenon much more than I probably need to.

It frustrates me because I don't deal with this crap. Arguing over the internet is about as effective as writing a letter with an apple. Because of my aversion to trolls I don't feel like I can join any of these mommy forums (I'd get too upset at people treating others with disrespect). Which frustrates me more because, look a goldmine of knowledge and experience that might help me... but the floor is made entirely of fresh manure and broken glass, and wouldn't you know I'm wearing moccasins.

Over the years, and surprisingly mostly in the last 10ish weeks, I have lost a lot of my tolerance. Maybe that's why there are so many women who jump on each other when one of them states that something that's a personal choice is 'the worst possible thing.' Our tolerance for most everything gets eaten by our unborn children or something?
Really though, I'm kind of afraid I'm going to be the jerk. If it's the truth I'm probably going to blurt it out. I see it going kinda like this:

Random Stranger (RS): "You need to cover up or go to the bathroom, your boob is making us lose our appetite."
Me: *blinks at person owlishly* "Is this really happening right now?"
RS: "You should have some courtesy for the people around you!"
Me: "Like the courtesy you're showing me?" *looks down at nursing baby* "You could see more of my boobs in a V neck that what you're seeing now!"
RS: "That's not the point."
Me: "Then what is the point?"
RS: "Just please, cover up or go to the bathroom to do that."
Me: "Would you like to eat your meal in the bathroom?"
[this is where I imagine it devolving into sarcasm/ cursing/ or pissing off RS badly enough they either leave or bring restaurant management into the (non)issue]

I don't see myself as a judgmental person. My husband tells me I'm too accepting most the time. I don't really care if someone has an opinion different than mine (though I do get mad when people blow off strong evidence in favor of their own beliefs, that's annoying). We do our best to understand and move on. Even better, I have some one to ask questions of when I don't understand something that comes from that vein of thought.
Maybe it's a flaw, but the moment some one tells me that I'm wrong, need to be like them, and they're going to talk at me (notice the word 'at') till I concede to their correctness I turn into something straight out of Labyrinth; a sarcastic stone wall. Which will, in all likelihood, only add gasoline to the raging fires of the 'mommy wars' and that's the one thing I really don't want to do.

Till next time my lovelies!
~ The light heart lives long.

I really need to buy a new laptop.

I think I told you all that Jex's laptop got dropkicked by a teenager while we were in Thailand.... right?

Well it did, and it finally died. Which sucks because there's NO WAY I'm updating my blog via a tablet. Tried that business once. ONCE. Never again.
Which is kinda lame because the most exciting things that happen do not happen at home, and I lose the notes I take on the event by the time I get on the tower PC.

So to tell you all what I've been meaning to say here for a while. I'm going to be a Mommy! So look forward to human larva photos come November. Hooray! (unless something awful happens then expect lots of crying and not many posts).

No, I won't take back the 'human larva' comment. Human babies are born incomplete. They have a freaking hole in the top of their little skulls till they're, what, 6 months old? The internet says 9-18 months... which is a little freakier. So, yes, they are squishy faced cute little larva. Not taking it back~!

My larva is currently being called Babybell, because cheese! And is all kicky. Just had my 20 week ultrasound and everything is in the right spot; good heart, pretty spine, crazy weird see through ghosty ultrasound baby face. The Gender is a surprise! It's like an early November Christmas present. Hopefully everything goes swimmingly. I've been struggling with stupid long morning sickness. Thought I got over it, then puked up all the two bites of egg I had on Sunday.

I'm thinking of making an instagram and taking pictures of little comics I've drawn. Like my picture of the porcelain god (aka: the toilette) and all the ways my pregnancy books have lied to my face. I almost feel the need to write my own pregnancy book. I think I'd call it "Junkfood Baby: this book may not apply to your current pregnancy."

Anyways. That's what's up with me.

Jex is going back to school to get his awesomesauce Mechatronics Engineering Degree!

I was supposed to go with him, only for Mechanical Engineering Technologies (I wanna work on jet engines and really fast cars!!!), got accepted and everything but, puking and sitting in class for an hour and a half don't really go hand in hand. There's always the Harley school if all else fails.

He's really liking it, nervous about the upcoming English class that's all of 5 weeks long (yay Summer Semester). I think he'll get super excited once he gets into the core mechanical and robotics courses. He's already planning his graduation robot project. *laughs*

Till next time lovelies, which will hopefully be sooner than later,
~the light heart lives long.

Oh Winter, how I missed thee.

Not kidding guys. I actually have missed winter. REAL winter, not this dreary grey, bipolar, thing the South calls winter. The ice storm, while slightly inconvenient to cook in the fireplace, was pretty and made me happy. I loved walking around crunching on the ice and seeing light refracting from a thousand crystalline trees.
We ate Naan bread and cheese, apples with nuts and beer. No worries about going anywhere because at the mere mention of snow our town completely shuts down for days at a time. Unless you are unlucky enough to work at the Wal-Mart you got the day off.
A day to drink hot coco and play board games, in our case, by candle light. Sleep by the fire all curled up in fluffy blankets. It's what I imagine it's like to be a cat, and I loved it!

Now all the snow has melted. We have power which will be nice, till I get the bill. *laughs* I'm already missing winter. At least it came to visit for a little bit; even if it did cause more than a little havoc as it passed by.

Till next time my lovelies,

The light heart lives long.

Old Year's Resolutions

Ever have on of those resolutions you recycle from year to year?
Well, blogging might be mine. *laughs* Or maybe just writing in general. I made a deadline for myself and shared it with my friends via the book o' face and the first Tuesday I meant to have a piece written the power goes out in a 30 mile radius; with us just inside that radius. Fun!
I got to bake flat bread in the fireplace and we ate apples nuts and cheese all day, so it was fine. However, that seems to be the story of my life. Decide to do something new, have life slap that crap right out of the air.

I think starting a health blog would be nice. You know for people who aren't head over heels for this product or that meal shake. Where people who can't stand the abominations that are vegan cheese slices but still would like to try the vegan thing can find a recipe or five. Maybe it could even be a place where chocolate pudding isn't vilified, only put in it's proper place (delicious snack of occasion).

Aaaaand of course I can't think of a name for the site, or much of anything. I'm wondering if I should just dive in head first and flail like it did with blogging in the first place (okay so I still flail) or if I should take more time on this one. You know... the difficult bits of not having to worry so much about food and clean water.

Also, I might be going back to school for a nerd degree!!! Mechanical Engineering has piqued my interest; and the Jex is insisting that we both go back to school to get something other than an associates. So I might as well get to build a race car in the process. Right?

Remember,
~The light heart lives long.

ReAdjusted

We're back from Thailand!
I would've updated more often but our laptop got dropkicked by one of the students of the school we were RA-ing for. But we saved the pictures! Yay!

Readjusting to the U.S. is probably my least favorite of things. In countries where I can't understand a lot of the underlying meanings of certain phrases, or even the language itself, there's a certain sense of freedom. I'm happy to understand what I can, and hey that phrase is one a know! I'm so glad all the articles about popculture here have that phrase in the title! (think: "what happened next will shock you")
Here though I get a lot of the rhetoric, the use of party names to polarize thought, the sensationalist phrases meant to garner attention but actually breed something like animosity. Then there's all the stuff that happens in the government that I want to do something about but can do about as little as signing a petition and trying to vote with my money when I'm in the grocery store. I understand enough to get frustrated, but not enough to actually understand. It's frustrating.

Then there's the food. It doesn't matter what I eat, I feel awful afterward. It's kind of disconcerting that I can eat ethnic food like fried tarantula and water snake that's been sitting in a vendor's basket for only God knows how long in the hot balmy air and be absolutely fine but I can't eat sautéd veggies in my own kitchen without feeling like I ate a live porcupine half an hour later. *cries* Food is my favorite thing!

I gained 10 pounds while in Thailand, weird. So I've started this thing called PiYo that my friend shared with me. It's some crazy mash up of Pilates and Yoga. Jex calls it my yogalatte; makes me wonder if I could make a drink and name it yogalatte, some crazy spiced healthy latte. Hmmmm.
It kicks my butt.
But it's one thing in a series of things that is leading me to have a fitness blog/ facebook group thing. I don't think I'll be very good at it. Look at this post. It's been like, what, 6 months since my last update and I've been in the U.S. for nearly 2 months now.
Who knows, maybe with that, and finding a gig at a gym as a Zumba instructor I might be able to pull it off? maybe?

Anywho, Happy 2015. May you savor every blessing and be strengthened by every hardship in this year to come.

~The Light Heart Lives Long