Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Contemplations of the Infirmed

I have decided that Strep is the DEVIL. No not the cute little devil in red pajamas, or the sexy devil with his trident, I'm talking the huge scary Tim Curry Devil from Legend. You know the kind that drinks the blood of unicorns and is best friends with Cuthulu.

Lucky me contracted Strep from my dear friend C8lyn while helping her with babies while she was dying ill. Apparently we have more than just similar personalities we also seem to have similar immune systems. Never in my life have I had Strep, I've been around it, even shared drinks with people who've been carriers and never once has it got me. Till this year.
I had a sore throat the last Friday of January, but didn't think much of it. Come Sunday I had a fever that I'm pretty sure fried part of the language center of my brain. Monday went something like this:
*Wake up bleary eyed and groggy in a pool of drool* "Huh?" I think to myself. "I don't usually drool." And then I try and swallow.
I was pretty sure that some one poured shards of glass covered in acid and agony down my throat (slight overdramatization but close).
*Run to the bathroom and pull out the hand mirror and flash light to see if there is anything left of my throat* To my horror my tonsils had sprouted little red tentacles that felt like fire and my uvula didn't look like it was supposed to.

Needless to say I ended up at the SandLand's Urgent Care Clinic after rasping my information over the phone. Showing up with my SARS mask garnered a lot of wierded out looks from the other occupants of the waiting room and several outright frightened ones. It was funny when I opened up and said something that should have been "Aaaahhh" but sounded more like the hungry gurgle of a Zombie the Doctor visibly recoiled. She stepped back and pulled out the longest Q-Tip I've ever seen (my dad is an ICU nurse I've seen a lot of medical supplies) and said: "Yeah, you have strep. This test is just a formality for the paper work to get you your meds." (not an actual quote, but it was the jest of what she said)

Here is where I would like to interject that I have NO IDEA how medical establishments and insurance works outside the military stations I've lived on the majority of my life. I didn't know what to do once the visit was over. Do I report to the front desk to pay? Do I have to wait for them to print out my Prescription? When do you need my sponsors last 4? What you want My SSN? Oh ok.

No one has called me so I think I did fine.

I haven't had antibiotics in several years. The last time I had Amoxicilline I was in middle school and they gave me the liquid crap. To this day the taste of it haunts my nightmares. Good thing they gave me pills, I only hoped the tentacles in my throat didn't keep them for an afternoon snack instead of letting them down.

Did you know that Antibiotics can give you weird dreams. Dude it was crazy, I felt like I'd lost my mind. Antibiotics also make you bruise easily. I barely moved from the couch and still ended up with all kinds of cryptogenic little blue and green spots. I blame the dog, she weighs too much (She's almost 40lbs! *cries*)
Thank goodness it's over.

It's nice to know that the FAFSA waited for me. And just in time for house hunting too (ah, if sarcasm could kill).

To all you sickies, Like Marianna, get better soon!
To the rest of you, don't get sick! The bugs this year are mean.


  1. I don't think I've ever had strep, but then I had my tonsils out when I was three.

    Antibiotics also make it so your birth control doesn't work. Just sayin. :)

  2. A 40lbs dog weighing too much? Hah. Our small st. bernard at home weighs around 100lbs and she likes to jump on the couch and lay on my lap. Good luck with the strep. I've had it a few times mostly mild cases that involved taking pills for a few days.