The sky in Charleston is a pale blue, that fades to a white as it touches the horizon. I've never seen a sky so tired of shining, so accepting of the clouds that roll in from the sea. Grass grows in sandy soil that gets in between your toes, reminding you of how close you are to the end of the land. The city of Charleston is low and spread out like a spider's web, with traffic that makes it possilbe to read a book while driving home.
Sometimes I like it here. Other times I can't wait to get away. And still other times I wish never to come back.
Jesse and I went camping last weekend and have been in Charleston for a week now. It's been a good week I think. I miss him when he goes to work, I'm not used to it. (^_^)"
I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I got caught up in my own issues so deep I forgot there was a surface for a moment. Our dog died, I had some problems with my woman parts that scared me, and I'm having a weird kind of identity crisis/war with myself.
America is a culture of struggle. Americans want to fight, they discover theirselves while overcomming. I think maybe this could be true for all of humanity. My husband said once that: "Great stories are only great because of the trails. No one wants to read about relaxing days on a beach for 300 pages. There must be an obstacle, a threat, a problem that seems impossible, an enemy to make it amazing; to make the character grow. People are like that too. We become our best when under oppression of some kind." So my struggle may not be merely a struggle of finding myself within a culture I can barely remember, or one I don't agree with, it may be the struggle of mankind. To find myself, to grow into something better than I am now, to fight and become mentally strong, emotionally strong, morally strong.
I like being 'the foreigner' though. You can get away with things that people of that culture can't and often times my blunders are seen as 'cute' rather than 'stupid'. *laughs*
Culture is the soil, we are the plants. Will you let the soil make you a weed or a tree? I think I will be a vine, and spread myself across many soils. (^_^)
I hope that didn't sound too weird.
Tomorrow I'll post another Past Present and Future blog. (I hope the computer lets me. *crosses fingers*)