Monday, August 30, 2010

Paradox

I want to write, but I have nothing to say. Nothing important anyway.

I'm very frustrated with my life at the moment. Few people would understand, and those that do are far away from me.
I feel very alone.
Positivity is hard when one is feeling secluded.
Which is why I'm so confused when others I meet tell me that I'm so positive. I don't feel positive. When I look in the mirror I don't see a positive woman looking back at me (eeew are those bags under my eyes?! *laughs*). But somehow, without my understanding, I'm a positive person. So often I hear: "Wow, Rem, you're so positive." or "You can tell by your smile, only positive people smile like that." No, one will believe the truth that I tell them. The feelings that hang inside my chest are brushed aside because they see that I am "so positive" nothing negative could possibly be in me.

It's strange how other people can put labels onto you that you don't feel to be true and suddenly it becomes the truth to everyone but you. I'm sure this phenomenon has a name. I remember learning about something similar in Speech Class. But for the life of me I can't remember.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry Rem, I hope you feel better. :( I don't know about marriage life, but I can imagine how difficult it is for people. When I was in the US, someone told me the difficulty of such life.

    I know positive Rem. But it's just a bit, haha. Most of the time, you show us you are such a deep, wise, and smart thinker on this blog. I love your comments on my weblog because they tell me that you are such a deep thinker.

    I don't know about the phenomenon, so I cannot help you. Also I don't have anything helpful to say, Rem, But I always come here and read your postings. I also try to put my comments on yours as well.

    I think writing is very important so keep writing. :)

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