Days go by in a funny way. Some are Horrible, you want them to be over. Maybe you wish you'd never woke up that morning. Others are Wonderful, you're sad to see the sun set, your glad you got up to enjoy the gift of the day.
I posted a blog on a bad day. A day that I was having an especially difficult time coming to terms with the fact that 'yes, I am an American'. It says so on my passport, I have a social security number, and a driver's license, all of which are proof of this fact. But I don't feel like an American on a daily basis. I feel like a foreigner.
So I've made up my mind. After 2 years of trying to find the American subculture I can belong to I'm going to just be a foreigner to the entire world. The proof of my existence may lie with America but I'm not going to take that to heart too much. I am Rem. I have beliefs and values that are my own and if they don't stack up to any one particular country that's fine with me. This very attitude may be the one thing that ties me the most into the part of me that is 'American'. Which is good, maybe it's when we give up that we can see the bigger picture.
Now that I'm not so focused on having a place that I belong I can enjoy the other things in life more. The things I get to drive by from time to time and the new places I get to go when Jesse and I get lost on the highway detour on our way to Charleston.
I'm sorry for the emotions of my last Blog. They're not the kind of thing that needs to be dumped out like scalding milk on the eyeballs of my friends and family.
I feel better. I feel fresh.
I can now look at the culture of America without despair and longing.
Which brings me to something that I've noticed since going to play Dungeons and Dragons with my husband's high school posse.
People who live in the same place for years and years are quite the same in one way, they can imagine living somewhere else and my want to... but feel that where they are is more important. The reasons are varying from person to person, and even a little from culture to culture. But it remains the same that if you stay in one place long enough you grow a connection to it, even if you don't like it all that much.
Oh and I want to tell you guys something because I'm happy about it. I learned how to make good German bread at home and it's super cheap and easy!
If you're interested in trying it here's the recipe. I eat it with butter, lunch meat, and a white cheese for breakfast but it's delicious with just about anything.
500 g of Flour (2 Cups and a little extra) 350ml hot water (about 110-130 F)
42g Yeast (2 pkgs of the highly active yeast) 1 1/2 tea spoon of Salt
Turn oven on at 430 F (220 Celsius) . Mix all the dry ingredients together then add the hot water and mix well. Leave for 90 minutes to rise. Glob the sticky dough onto a greased baking sheet/pan in the size you want the rolls to be. Then bake for 20- 25 minutes. Tada!
Warning: the crust of the bread can be super crunchy so I'd advise cutting the rolls in half before biting into them.
Love, Happiness, and Warm Wishes to you!
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